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 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
The veins in your hands,
The strong structure of your body.
Eyes that have haunted my dreams for months.

The same pair of sweatpants every day,
That somehow completes you.
And the random stares that make my stomach drop.

The low voice you use when we are close,
And the shaky whispers when we are alone.

The colors you radiate are brilliant.
And the energy you give sends shivers down my spine.

The smell that lingers  on the clothing you lend me,
And the strength that gives me during the day.

Your strong arms around me when I fall asleep.

Did I ever tell you that I can hear you?
Faintly, but one time I could remember.
No dream, just a voice.

And I tried to say it back,
But my voice caught in my throat.

And it was then that I knew,
We'd be that way forever.
Or at least a very long time.



The bright, squinty eyed, smile when
You're having fun,
Or when a friend says something perverted.
And the laugh that is contagious.

Your annoyance when I wear heels,
And your in insistence that I am indeed a gamer.
Even if it is a joke.
Your ability to stay strong even if life kicks you where it counts.
And your determination to save people,
Help everyone you can,
Before saving yourself.

I could go on for eternity.
But, and I will steal your line,
I need something to write about later, right?
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
Chilly
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
I just got old and I wrapped
Your sweatshirt tighter around me.
It doesn't smell like you anymore,
It smells like me.

But knowing that it is yours
And that you wore it
Still gives me comfort.

But it doesn't matter.
I'm still going to give it back to you at the end of the day.
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
Will you lose yourself in a maze with me?
A lot of steps and checkpoints,
Eight foot tall walls of corn stalks.
And secluded circles where the paths don't lead.

Split off from the rest of humanity,
Just us in that labyrinth.

Will you go with me?
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
Boo!
I love you, darling!

I always will.
Even if you disappear.

Because we are a math equation.
Numbers and variables,
Exponents and everything else.
It may look complex to some or
Maybe it makes people sick to look at,

But there are tricks and it is easy to figure out.

The simplified equation comes down to
Us*love=
Do you know the final product?
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
Burst
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
I really have to do something.
If I don't, I'll burst.

I can feel it swelling up,
Making my knees shake.

I have to ***...
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
It seems like everything is perfect.
I am excited to wake up in the morning.
I want to leave the house.
I want to shop for pretty dresses to impress you.

And my heart jumps and my stomach drops
Every time you look at me.

You're right next door, but it doesn't matter.
I still wish you were here.
Because of you,
I have something to smile for.
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
Cloth
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
It's just a piece of cloth,
A sweat shirt you wore today.
You handed it to me because I was cold,
And your scent lingers.

It warmed me immediately

But when I tried to give it back, you didn't take it.
And I just held it to my face, breathing you in.

Now I am lying in bed, wearing nothing but that and a pair of shorts.
I know I will dream of you tonight.
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
Reading words
Written painfully
And accurately.
Histories revealed
And futures
Being dreamed.
And it
All conspires
To destroy
And demolish
Your mind.
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
I've tried so hard not to breakdown this past week,
Not around my peers, my friends, my love.
But I failed.

I broke because my math teacher asked how I was doing.
She meant the assignment, but the words still got to me.
I really need someone to hold me and tell me it'll be okay.
 Sep 2013 ---
The New Kestrel
Now I know.
I am as safe as a secret.

Some will spread me like jam and eat me alive,

Some will savor the sweetness, taste here and there, and love me.

But who is who?
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