Anytime I read
Poetry
It puts me in a
Sad
Mourning
Angry
Apathetic
Mood.
One of the reasons I dislike it.

I am falling
Reaching for limbs as I go
Though I notice an absence of my
Own limbs.
Perhaps that is why I don't
Reach out to others
Reach out for help
So I fall
Curled in a fetal position
Hoping that when I
Finally land
It will not hurt too much.

Pathetic
And apathetic
I wander through life
Seeing nothing
On my hands and knees
And not caring.
Blindfolded by societal standards
Pushed down by the ambitions of others
And yet I have reason to believe that it doesn't matter.

The only thing I really
Want to accomplish in this life
Is to be comfortable.  
Is that too much to ask?
Sure, I'd love to help people
Make friends and be in love along the way
Grow in my faith and everything
But I don't want to be famous
Or very rich.
Maybe rich enough to get an island
With a small shack but...
I more than anything want to relax.
No deadlines
No worries sticking in my stomach.
Total.
Relaxation.

Have you noticed that
When you reflect on things
"I should've..."
I hate the feeling
And I'm stressed lately.
Maybe I can be better
And what's done is done
And I hope everything works out
No bad repercussions for something I
Can fix

I wrote this to myself when I left.  I never should have left anyway.  I just...  Didn't want this to be a part of me but...  I don't think I can escape.

You ****. I despise you. Your idiotic writing and stupid love poems. You don't even have a real ******* reason to quit! You switch to me, and still write... At least you can be honest now. People will finally see what an ******* you truly are.

I can never tell anyone
How I really feel
Or when I need help.
Because inside
I am a burning inferno.
Angry at almost everyone.
Tearing my hair out
Screaming at my tormentors.
It's too much.
Behind my kind and loving demeanor
I am angry.
I really do love and care for others
But I have demons inside
Who must never be let out.