Right now
I'm here
You're here
Everyone is
Here.
Let's make it good for everyone else
I don't mind if my experience
*****
As long as someone benefits.

Lately
My life is seeming to become
Surreal
It doesn't feel
Real
And I don't understand why.
People
Are becoming backgrounds
Places
Are even less
And I don't seem to notice things
The intricacies of life.
Because it all seems
Fake.
Like a spectacular video game
That I am just playing through
Looking forward to the next one
Too busy looking ahead to see
What is right here beside me.

What if we're all
Pretending
To be something
Nobody
Wants to be?
We're all pretending it's
Okay to be like this
Because we think we're the only ones
Pretending
And that everyone is okay
With this pretense.
But what if nobody is okay with it?
And we're stuck
Pretending.

When I grow tired
My words change
Morph into some sort of
Eloquence
At times
Sheer emotion
Tearing pain
Ripping my body and soul into
Thousands of tiny pieces
From words I myself write.
I wonder
Should it count as some type of
Self harm?
No it shouldn't
Because your writing hurts me even more
And I love it.

*I guess I like it rough.

I run from love
I run to love.
I run from hate
Yet I accept it all the same.
Love is always good
And hate is always bad.
Wouldn't you agree?
Love is complete joy and acceptance
Willing to sacrifice yourself
And that's not even necessarily your life.
Jumping in front of a bullet isn't easy
But it's easier than changing your schedule
At times.
Hate is always bad
So why is it acceptable to hate
The people who've hated the most?
We can't learn from mistakes
Or just move on without acknowledging them?
Well, I'm a firm believer
That cookie dough is always good.
Except when it makes you sick.
Tastes like salmonella.
But cookie dough is still always good.
Except when it makes you fat.
But
Cookie dough is still always good.
Except when you don't get any cookies.
Cookie dough tastes better anyway.

As I prepare to return
I feel a familiar sense of
Dread
But also
A familiar sense of
Familiarity.

Often
When I use the word
Fallen
I mean that I am being overtaken
By sin
By anything bad
But there is one type of falling I don't mind
Which is
Falling in love with you.

This may be kind of corny
But it's how I feel.