Is this our only season? Have we by jaded hearts and mediocre reason
Undone ourselves at the seams from each other, unraveled all that we used to be
I knew things were changing but I didn’t know that they were disintegrating
Is this our only season? Is this how it all ends?  
Will you be another person I never forget, but who I never get to love the same again?
Have those hardass roses in the garden that spent forever too scared to bloom but doing a hell of a job surviving - have they just died?
Have the colors gone from my heart like they did when I lost the color in my eyes?
Is this our only season? Will we turn out to be perennial lovers?
Or maybe even lovers that bloom in rarity once in so many years – twice in a lifetime if lucky?

You see not what eye do see/
Take my hand, together we may dream/

I plan to show you immense beauty/
To do this you mustn’t fear the mystery/

Live and Love in all of this perfect moment/
For in your hand is my soul, but will you hold it/

The immensity that I do see reaches far beyond the sky/
Tremendous Beauty from the heavens, an Angel you are on High/

Now take my hand, fear not, c’mon and fly/
To see your Beauty as do I, to Yourself, You must die/

Fear not a thing though, for remember, My Soul You do hold/
Now come to the most unknown, into Yourself, into Your cold/

You must relieve yourself, lose your fears/
I give to you my strength, warmth so cold cannot sear/

Face what makes you tremble, what makes you scared/
My Love is with you, It will carry you when the fear can’t be bared/

You can go now, but first fear You must displace/
Leave Me here to be, I Am Your Love sent to replace/

Through all times in Life is Beauty Immense, ‘tis Love must always share/
I can help You to see what Eye do see, True Love is I, and I’ll Take You There/

You fade...
Like a bruise.

Like the ones your mouth left on my neck and shoulders with its lustful pressure.
Your teeth, which brought moments of bright pain/pleasure,
Are now bared in an artificial, animal smile.

Your lips, which parted to ******* skin like it was salvation,
Barely part now to speak to me.
You whispered my name like a prayer.
You screamed it like a curse.
You sighed it in contentment,
And now you won't even speak it in passing.

Your hands, which half-playfully pulled my hair...
Now won't pause to brush it from my face.

All these parts of you,
None more telling than your eyes.
Those new windows, which once let me pry...
Now have blinds drawn tight behind them,
Leaving only a pretty, shiny reflection-
A passing, glancing imitation-
Of the passion they once held
When they beheld
Me.

No color left to them but the muddy colors of
Boredom,
And possibly mistrust.

You fade...
Like a bruise.
Like the one you left on my mind with your brilliant conversation
And beautiful, rusty prose.
Like the many you left on my tongue...
Which now can speak nothing but trite and meaningless words,
Which now can barely remember the shapes
Of all the shimmering, liquid phrases it spoke to you
That seemed so important at the time.

You fade...
Like a bruise.
Once lover and friend,
Now barely one
And never the other again.

Your smile makes my heart stop
and speed up
at the same time.
And even though you've
hurt me lots,
I know you're always mine.

The simple way
you say my name.
Your pretty light brown eyes.
I find it's never hard to say
the "Love"s, the "You"s, the "I"s.

And when you wrap
me in your arms
and hold on to me
tight,
I hope you'll never let me go,
I'd stay there,
day and night.

Your warmth,
Your touch,
Your comfort.
Your stories and
Your stares.
Your kisses,
Hugs, and
Gestures,
Your "I'll always be there"s.

You said to list
the reasons why
I love you
like I do,
but babe, I've tried
to tell you,
I love you cuz you're **You

In all actuality, you are trying to **** me with every chance you can get.
You makes my body reject food, reject sleep…all things that can make it better.
You convince my brain of one thing, and I have to fight to do the opposite.
It’s a chore to have to shower, brush my teeth, take care of myself with you in my life.
But you know that such simple tasks are the ones that will **** you.
You tell me to give up, to just give in, that no matter how hard I try that you will still beat me.

And that is the hardest part.

You convince my brain that it wants my body to die.
But my heart, my soul doesn’t want to, it can’t.
It’s a struggle every second of my life to convince myself that what I am doing against you’re “better judgement” is really the right thing to do. But sometimes everything gets confused and that’s when I have these big break downs.
And during these breakdowns you are always winning…to the point where I am ashamed of what I’ve done.
But then I have to remind myself it was you, Depression, that let it happen.
I, Alex, had no control.
So my body is trying to **** itself one way or another and all I can do is fight back the best I can.
It’s this horrible game of tug and war that neither side is winning.
You are so exhausting.

But I’m going to beat you. I’m going to win.

I'm getting a desk tomorrow
To be sitting in a chair
I can write, and paint
I couldn't do those things
Before
Not the way I needed
I need this metaphorical
Structure
I believe that a desk will
Always be a staple in my life
Solid & mine