Begging to have our eyes opened
we spend our days prayin or smokin
Sayin wer'e looking for something higher, higher

We walk on solid ground just as timidly
as the ripples  rippledthrough the Galilean sea
broke scared
broke scared around peter and Jesus' feet

write deep music deep music  
but we won't ever sing it in public
because we're afraid that we'll find
that when it hits the ears of the audience
it won't be worth the words we spent

the truth is

we look for
the Sermon in the suicide -
moral in the ****** of five

the truth is, the truth is
sometimes it's hard to find

Dear Diary, I know I haven’t been treating you properly,
I’ve been mundane and confused lately…

But I didn’t know if you would understand,
About the need that my heart did demand…

But I have to turn to you, I have no one else,
The truth echoes within me, like sound through hollow shells….

It all started when I met that person,
Who shone as brightly as the brightest sun…

I won’t mention her blessed name,
In case later there’s a risk of blame…

But I remember my entry in you that day,
“ my life has changed in every way…”

And though my feelings perplex you,
I assure you, Diary, she is one of very few…

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this earlier,
It was because I was confined by fear…

For a guy like me cant get someone like her,
But still, my wretched heart holds her dear…

And though I try to repel the attraction,
I yearn for every possible interaction…

You have all right to be angry, and more,
Because all this in my troubled mind I did store…

Is the situation bad, you ask..??
Getting me back to who I was seems an impossible task..

Because as of now, I can live without filling you with ink,
But I shall die if of her I don’t think…

Yes, its serious, yes I know,
Nowhere is this relationship going to go…

But I still prefer this existence,
Where she and I can be just friends..

For the exuberance that comes with her being,
Seems to give life a whole new meaning…

Diary, I know you are about me, not her…
But she is now part of me, it does appear..

So let us chronicle my love, in liaison,
Let us tell the world about my passion…

For, one day, when I am but dust,
You will show everyone what I did lust…

Diary, I’ve jumped into a well, and I cant come out,
Except you, no one can hear my wretched shout…

Dear Diary, let the pain no longer keep us apart,
Dear Diary, please imbibe the weepings of my broken heart…

I may not always say the things I wish I could
And I know I never say the things you wish I would
But when did what I can say, stop being enough?
When did my thoughts, my opinions, my feelings start losing their worth?
How can it be that what does escape these lips
Just floats through you like sea destined ships?
Tell me what it is you need so desperately for me to say
Because there’s so little I wouldn’t if it would just make you stay
Because I want to hear you next to me
I want to feel your every inch, on every inch of me
And I want to discover every gray hair on your head
And memorize your smell on the sheets in my bed
I want your arms around me
And I want to know, that you’ve been looking – but that you’ve finally found me
I want to watch the rise of your chest as you breathe
And count your heart as it beats
I want you in me, and on me, and all around me
Baby, with all that’s in you – surround me
Because I just want endlessly to listen to you speak
And to see you – seeing me
And when you come in the night to make love to me
I want most to not have to watch you leave
But you will, you won’t stay, I know
And I’ll have to watch you go – alone
Because I’m not what you want, I know this too
…I just wish, I didn't want you

"do you believe in madness?"
i whispered in the dark, half afraid of a reply.
"yes,"
trembled from her lips,
"but this it not it."
i say her lips trembled but in truth i could not see her face. perhaps it was i who was trembling, but if only in my imagination i could of sworn, she was trembling too.
the walls pushed forcibly on my chest and spine each time i inhaled

each mouthful of still air pressed me to the sides as a harsh reminder that the passage was only barely wide enough for us to walk through sideways, shoulder to shoulder, scraping our skin as we went.
i'm not sure how much time had passed
not much had changed
since the last word had been spoken out-loud

i had begun again to forget what words felt like,
both on the lips and upon softing the delicate hairs of the inner ear
all i could know was the dark, and my breathing, and her breathing.  and i begun to wonder if she was breathing at all,
of if the fainter, more distant breaths-  were not just echoes of my own.
had i gone mad. was i truly alone. no companion. no accomplice. just an invention of my lonely silence.
was it days that had been passing. or were they weeks.

perhaps just a few hours, and my sense of brooding, too dark.

Words don't really do you justice, do they?
Eyes like a cat,
the shade I'd imagine when the characters in my books had green eyes,
and skin almost as pale as Snow White's.
But innocence,
such as Snow White's,
is something you never had.
Your soul,
beaten down as a child
by a father who didn't know how to love.
We met in fifth grade,
when you were simple,
I was new,
and the world was infinite.
You're not simple anymore.
You're more complex that the universe itself.
You have entire worlds behind your eyelids,
but they're shrouded in darkness.
I'm not new anymore.
I'm getting older, mature, experienced.
I have lived through your lies
and survived your surroundings.
The world isn't infinite anymore.
It's very limited.
It has seen us grow and drift apart.
But despite our changes,
you are always there.

Another day ending by waking up to another empty pillow
A coffee break for two and a carriage ride for one
Bad lyrics to sum up a life, or not a life at all
It's not me
Who's he? Who's she?
Mysteries the Hardy Boys won’t touch
When Mary Jane is the best lawyer out there
I'm in court for the ****** of a young woman
Found guilty; life without parole
It's better that way anyway
I can't go after myself anymore
There's tape over my ears to silence the words around me
Clown smiles painted across the town now
I'm panicking Indian style of the side of the road
Waiting for someone to throw candy my way
Fortunately, I'm overseen
A walk home, alone, empty handed
But happy

Sing the anthem of the lonley people, maybe we could find
eachother within a barren labyrinth
forged within our minds...
Say what you want, I still mutter your name
on these restless, silent nights, as I think I've forgotten your face...

It's a useless endeavor, to cure this void--
Born with a hole in my heart, I've stared like a ragged child
into vast and uncertain a universe
that will never hear my name, hopelessly trying
to learn its ways...

It's people like you and I, my friend, why seven billion isn't enough.
I've wandered to every corner, searched every stoic face
for an exception.
It's a loneliness that is incurable-- one that stares longingly out of windows,
stands silently in roaring crowds, sighs wistfully in empty rooms,
and weeps bitterly onto old bedsheets, watching and waiting as the world rushes by.