Tonight, I thought of all the words lost on me
Like my favorite necklaces misplaced; my hands reaching for my neck, unable to feel them.
Tonight, I missed my favorite person, who continues to rest among the clouds
Tonight, I realized that friendships end and goodbyes are inevitable
Tonight, I wrote. I wrote and wrote
I wrote so much
All I wanted to do was puke my insides out because nothing I wrote sounded like myself
Tonight, I wept because I forgot who I was
Often times it seems like I’ve connected the dots and became what everyone wanted me to be, keeping the child within me locked in a dark room, with no windows to allow the light through.
At times, it seems, I’ve diminished my wants and needs because it was all, ‘too much’
It felt safer to stitch my lips shut, because voicing anything sounded like a cry for help and I never wanted to depend on anyone who may one day leave me,
Who may one day abandon me.
Tonight, I’ve come to terms with It being so much harder trying to put together pieces I never knew were broken
At times, I feel so insignificant, a speck, compared to the universe and it hits me how regardless of all I feel, regardless of how minor my emotions may be to the wonder that is, Outer Space,
I matter.
I matter. I matter. I matter.
I ******* matter.
All the feelings that rush through me,
The rage, the absence, the happiness, the love & lust that pulses through my veins,
It all matters.
It all ******* matters and the world may have never been the same,
Without me.
