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Jordan Aug 2014
Take your car out for a drive
Become a robot in your own automobile
On your way to clock in at your 9-5
Tune in to the latest hits, and buckle up behind the wheel

Don’t forget to grab your caffeine fix
To power your through your shift
Throw some sugar-free syrups in the mix
Don’t be late to work, behind a screen you shall sit

Thank God it’s Friday
You’ve scraped through the week
You’ve got all sorts of bills to pay
How else will those on welfare eat?

It’s your hard-earned cash
But let’s spend it my way
You need prescriptions, then McDonalds fast!
The corporations are hungry for your money today

The latest fashion now is out!
Look pretty-****-skinny-super-cute
Woo-hoo for unlimited money on your credit account!
Those East-Asian kids are working hard for you!

The latest IPhone is coming soon
You must buy it, along with an unlimited data plan
Then buy all the popular apps, games, and tunes
And check all your social media accounts as much as you can

Post pictures and videos of all of the places you’ve visited
Pin your most frequented to a map, to connect with peers
Include your address, phone number, and everything about your kids.
Share your hobbies, goals, and fears

Remember how blessed you are to be an American
But don’t push it, patriotism is no longer cool
Anyway, you worship the government now, not some silly religion
Rule by Obama, for Obama, because dictators rule!
My 'lol' extension:

Don’t stress the small stuff
Who cares about the soldiers? I’m so over it.
Bergdahl’s safe, isn’t that enough?
Forget Benghazi, your healthcare, the defecit

Forget everything
Look, American Gladiator is on
Look here’s 200 more channels – I’m going golfing
F you, republicans, I’m not working because ‘I won’

— The End —