get scared it will do you good.
smoke a bit stare at a blank ceiling, beat your head against the wall, refuse to see people, paint and write. get scared some more. allow your little mind to do nothing but function. make loneliness a friend let it sit by you in the dark and stroke you hair as you sleep allow it to lie to and next to you. doubt, doubt everything and everyone
do i
don't i
should i
wont i
stay inside-go-outside doesn't matter what you do; but stay scared as hell.