July 14, 2002
everything indelibly inked
in my memory
  our love of  two decades
gone
in the blink of an eye
your light extinguished
all that was  
ceased to be
innocence lost
someone wanted you dead
stacks of  information
racks of paperwork
 sad faces
phone calls
nights  in a puddle of tears  
sleeping in the bed we shared
weren't you  just here ?
where are you  now?
can you see our anguish?
our fight to survive
while going through the motions
my mind repeating your  name  
over and over again
as if those were the magic words
to bring you back to  this life
so empty and yet so full
mind numbing pain
consumed
my every waking moment
filled the corners of my body
with stark  grief
then  scattered to bits
and
dumped
into an abyss
of
undeniable pain