There it is,

again

All I had to do was look -
and that ****** intrusive thought
flashed behind my eyes

again

I've climbed the barrier,
I'm standing at its peak
when I allow my body to fall -
and the world's landscape
turns on its head
and everything fades
into the tenebrae

...

I blink and shake my head,
tearing my gaze away
My body -
it's twitching at the urge
to climb
I'd thought the yawning void
had stopped calling?
I have to keep walking
I must keep trying

I don't even want
to go anymore!

...don't I?