I have a hard time fitting myself into a box.
I have a hard time giving myself (and God) space.
Like there's something I can do,
Say yes to this thing and that,
To earn God's loving embrace.

I am but a human,
But these lessons are taking so long to stick.
One day I am happy,
the next day I am sick.
There is a balance somewhere,
I am told, so they say.

But when will I ever find it?
When will I ever convince myself its here to stay.
If I'm trying hard to get this,
isn't it the same as trying hard to get that?

What if the lesson is not to try at all,  
But to trust God and relax?