They always said your first will be the hardest, and boy weren't they lying. The feeling of opening up to someone, letting them see you as a whole. Seeing you with no clothes on, cuddling, becoming one. Giving that person your all, more than just making love, but deeper than love. As the feelings spill out with each kiss, and each touch, you feel the pain, as his fingertips touch and hold your hips. Because he isn't the one. You feel the pain, as those kisses get to your heart, and your eyes start to water. There's no such thing as your mind knowing what's best, because your heart knows more than the rest. But this man is your first, so hard to walk away. But why? Lord why? Why is this feeling so invading? He looks at you, and smile, knowing this smile is so untrue, nothing but a piece of your beauty, that's all that it took, to make him say I love you, until he got what he looked. He changed his ways, it became more distance, you tried to fix it. Not realizing that you are only hurting yourself, you denied it. Wanted to make it work, so those feelings inside, you fought them, why? Was it really that worth it? Was it really because you loved him? Or was it because you was too scared to walk away, because you felt like as if it would hurt him? Did he care? Only when he smashed though..
Was he there? Only when he smashed though..
Did he make you cry? Yeah.
Did he care? No.
So why were you there? I don't know..
Were you happy? Could I have been?
No..
Was this just ***?
Was this just his way of getting what he wanted so no other can have it?
Selfish.
They say your first is hard to walk away from,
But when walking away makes you stronger
You start regretting the moment, you let that boy in.

Enough said..