it sometimes feels better to stay sad.
to stay in pain, pinned to the world, to have lost all you had.
to stay in the pit because it is hard.
because hurt and pain shattered and twisted your heart.
it feels warmer.
because it made you love the cold.
your joy grows old.

but.
being happy is better.
when the cold is gone.
and fear and hurt and pain lose its horns.
it's horns of exultation.
when divine love doesn't seem so far.
it never did, and never has been.
its when your heart becomes whole and the holes close up, and plans of the wicked on folds up.
when numbers no longer matter.

Jesus loves you.