I’ve got plenty hyper-fixations
Cliffhangers I like drag on in my mind
There mainly of small shows or fandoms that weasel there way into my mind
I lose myself in small details or characters
They seem to envelop me whole
Mind and all
Soon it’ll be the only thought consumes my mind
I fall asleep imagining scenarios that aren’t yet to come or might never.
Soon theses fixations became of you
Your face
The way you look at me with disgust
Your eyes
Filled with deceit
Your mouth
Spouting plentiful lies
It all fills my waking hours
Filled with anxiety that I’m just not doing something right
It’s my worse hyper-fixation
That I’m saying something wrong
That I’m speaking in the wrong tone
That I
that even with all my efforts
Am lacking.
So I’ll imagine a different way to react tomorrow,
and I’ll stay up late tonight wondering
If that one look you gave me
Meant that I didn’t do something quite right again.

It's right up in your face
Like blood on your **** floor
But you are dumb to chase
Me who is a chore


Are you that desperate
I love my instrument
And my little masked men
More than anything else
My hype fixations
Take me away from you

Open up your eyes
I'm bright red flag
Scratch out all my lies
I make your mind lag
When I tell you that
I love you baby
It's a total gag
I just might maybe
Love all my special
interests and talents
And love Nu metal
A bit way too much
I have no balance
Left for a true love
like you

My mind’s fracturing into repeating patterns
Patterns of life and words I do not know
People I have yet to see
Breathing in equations and out various numbers
Numbers with no meaning
Sparse and erratic

Splintering sentences and irrational answers
Decimals
Quotients
Products
Products that cannot be expressed
Quotients that can never possibly be fathomed
Decimals to infinity
Never repeating
But repeating that same set of numbers
1 through 9 in every shape and form
Spiraling into the abyss

Unifying everything
Yet moving so fast
So far
That it all falls away
Quantum mechanics
General relativity
Are nothing in the face of this infinite knowledge
Infinite numbers
Infinite death
Death to these hands
Death to these atoms
Death to every particle of light that collapsed from a wave
Death of the universe

Death of me