Happy,
Pure,
His little kisses are pockets of starlight in the night sky,
Or bubbles of air pointing to where the surface of the ocean is.
He is a sparkling gem,
Worth more than he knows and
Stronger than a diamond.
Long talks and kisses are
A cool gust of wind on a blistering day.

Where will this take me?
I’m terrified to let him in,
Let him see the part of me that I hate.
But I am a waterfall,
Letting my trust fall into his loyal hands,
Dropping my secrets like rain.

Am I worth the pain and cold that I tend to inflict?
He makes me believe that I am.

Peace,
A breeze in the air,
Rain pattering down from the sky,
Painting the sidewalks a sleek grey,
Beauty in the drizzle.

Cool, calm,
Not dangerous when
Viewed from a distance,
But unspeakable depths that will drag you
Down,
Down,
down.
Into my ratcheting currents and
Demonic tides at a depth hard to imagine.
And scenes you couldn’t imagine,
At least in my life.
I’m more and less than people think I am.
Unexpected,
Unknown,
And often invisible.
My hands are frost and
The icy mask I wear is melting into my flesh.
But I feel that mask slipping,
Collapsing to the ground and
Shattering,
Freeing the person I am.
Maybe wrong,
The frightening individual I am,
As dangerous as an iceberg,
Could be beautiful too.

I feel like myself again
Smiling, happy,
My muses and music around me.
Have I ever been this confident before?
I actually want to stand out,
Stand apart,
Stand by myself in the glaring sunlight
While everyone notices or doesn't notice.
Ultimately it doesn't matter which one it is,
It matters that I am still
Standing.

December,
I've already been broken before,
I didn't think you could break me more.
I will never let you see me cry.
January,
Crying will never stop,
Someone else stomped on the pieces,
I once was a vase,
Now a crushed piece of pottery.
Don't touch me, I'm sharp glass.
February,
How do you make me fall for you every second I see you?
I'm beginning to heal and mend,
And I will not push you away.

I am amazed and grateful for you, wonderful friend.

Could you keep me safe and warm?
I've walked through the winter and
Picked up a case of frostbite.
I've seen it affect people's hearts,
Twisting their fears into reality as their light recedes,
Suffocated in the cold,
Like Caoimhn.
Calm Caoimhn, now chaos.
My toes are turning black, a sure sign I'm losing this fight,
Stacking up like the fights I've lost before.
My mind drifts,
Falling into this snowy drift, falling, falling,
Sleeping when there's snowflakes on my cheeks.
Turning blue in the subarctic temperatures,
I try to stay alive.
Breathing slowly, shivering,
I won't let my heart go cold,
But I still won't be safe from the frostbite.

What's the next step in this game called love?
I seem to have forgotten.
I'm the awkward one,
Bumbling over my words and
Losing control of my smiles.
Can you see the look in my eyes?
The one that you somehow put there?
I feel like a schoolgirl with her first crush,
Dancing, singing, blushing, giggling.
Step forward, step back, step forward again.
What is the next step?
Twirling around, laughing,
Then frozen. I've forgotten.
Love is a dance not a game.
Could I ask you to show me the next dance step?

Beautiful is something more than I can hold.
Could I hope to hold it?
This responsibility weighing heavy...
Trying to be something more than I am,
The perfected version of me.
Perfect? Not me, you...
I'm basking in something beautiful,
Drinking in the light that surrounds you.
Could I ever hope to come close to you?

Or will I stay in the shadows?