I wore your coat today
It gives me the illusion
that we are more
than just abusers
It wasn't until now that I realized
affection isn't the same as love
I've adapted as a user
so I could be a player in their game
Trading cannabis for kisses
to deprived my body of its senses
Everything I touch feels fuzzy and dull
None of this can be real
I keep my eyes closed
as I am dragged down
in a haze of pleasure
I let you move me to your desire
To have someone take control over me
brought relief over my chest
I felt useful for there was no time
to over think our motives
Please take me in
I'll let you have all of me
Show me what's it like to be loved
I can't tell the difference anymore
I know what's happening
but I don't want it to stop
Cause I am not here
My body may be on the bed
but my mind is somewhere else
I flinch at the touch of your lips smothering me
They are different from his
You brush over my scars like they were nothing
like they weren't some hellish thing I endure
I have no response for the selfish suggestions
you whisper in my ear
Cause I'm tried and we both
just want our fix
I could feel the hunger in your grip tighten
reluctant to stop
You never asked
but I didn't say no either
cause affection makes us feel loved
even if we aren't