eating ramen while sitting across each other
spending quality time together, for the first time in years
just you and i, how it always used to be when i was young
and for the first time in years, i enjoyed our time together

oh dad how i miss you
when you were my best friend
i miss when we'd laugh at nothing
and all the inside jokes we had

i don't want to hold on to this hatred against you anymore
i can't hate the man that used to be my other half
no matter what you do to me, as much as i hate to admit it
you'll always mean so much to me

Inside me is a whirlwind of emotions that no one not even you could understand,
it's not that I expect you to.

Stuck within are the moments that remind me how weak I still am even though I am trying my best to be strong.
Your snide remarks don't ever help at all, just verifying these demons in my head.

My hands shake while my entirety submerges into a cold sea of unwanted yet written memories.

So this is what it'd feel like every year,
Well at least now I know.