I want to be with you in your arms on your mind.
I want to not be jealous of her and instead, be her.
I want things to be different but you don’t, and neither does she.
So, here I am, stuck, in my own heart, waiting for it to ******* burst so I will just die already.
Despite my pain, you enjoy watching me be hurt, I know it.
It brings you joy.
For that I love you even more.
© Kelsey Austere, 2016