It's just a glass of scotch! It might as well be water.
I drink it just like a four year old drinks a Capri-
no, a Juice Box.
I don't want it on the rocks, I take it neat, like my room.
See? It's just like milk! Do you drink milk with ice?
It's not illegal, and if you don't believe me take a look at the box
It says it's been aged 21 years, and my other at 25!
My scotch is so old it gets discounted car insurance like your mom did however many hundreds of years ago it was.
It's just scotch so stop whining about it.
Actually, that gives me a great idea,
I'll go drink wine. Happy?