You never understood
You became my brother too
Part of my heart
Part of my life
Part of my soul
My love poured out for you
I reached out my hand to help you
I held on as much as I could
Thinking that somehow I'd be able to save you
From the hatred of others
The dull sickness in your stomach
I wanted to teach you, lead you
Protect you from everything including yourself
I wanted you to know the healing of words
Of caring and understanding
The safety of knowing somebody is there
Somebody who isn't blood isn't family
That it's possible for somebody to love you
because they grew to not because they felt forced to
Every word I say about you seems wrong now
Like it's past tense like you aren't coming home
As if you've forgotten where home truly is
I'm so angry at you for leaving like that
So livid for your lack of goodbye
For convincing me everything would be okay
Then just spiraling out of my reach
I want to pick up the phone and hear your voice
Hear you tell me you are okay
I am so sick of listening to them tell me your fine
I won't be fooled like that never again
This will not be okay until you return
Not that anything will be the same
You're now an uncle did you know that?
To a little boy named Gabe
Your brother is with another woman these days
I'm once again just the past
Maybe I belong that way
**** it Dommy....
I still miss you everyday.