Night terrors of haunting PTSD memories, they trigger me to how I used to be, wake up distraught in tears, a heart full of anxiety, I can't remember but I'm upset, unable to control out of control emotion, crying unable to go back, overwhelmed and left on my own, cant they see I'm the one under attack, a monster in myself please don't tie it to me, a  genetic  disease, my life has little to no ease, needing a release of intense pent up emotion, it was a mistake, I can't believe I've done this. I can't believe I've done this. I can't believe I've done this.