I thought I was better than this,
expected more,
a sense of superiority,
maybe i thought i had it all together,
and just didn't care enough to use that,
but no, it was all chaos,
uncontrolled chaos,
anxiety every day,
thinking of every way to move,
but frozen with no real options,
out of fear of failure,
I was always the best, and then I woke up with nothing.