May 1st, 2016
8:44 pm
I officially have 15 days with you.

****.

I cannot do this
I cannot do this
I will miss you
I will miss you so badly.

You are all that matters to me
Nothing has mattered this much to me.
Ever.

Not music
Not writing
Not saving myself

Speaking of saving myself, I didn’t do that
You did

Remember?
You saved me
I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw
I hated the lump in my throat
I hated my flat chest
I hated the way my stomach bumps out a little

But then you turned me around and said
“You’re beautiful.”

And you meant it.

You meant it when you said it that night in the garden.
You meant it when you whispered it in my ear.
You meant it.
You ******* meant it.
You meant it like no one had ever meant anything before.

You’re all that matters to me
You are my universe
You are my earth
And my sun
You are my alpha
And my omega
My life starts and ends with you.

So I may have 15 days left with you
But **** it
I will be ****** if I don't make the best of it.

Because I love you.

I loved you that night at the bookstore.
I loved you when we went to pride together.
You know, I wanted that to be a date.
I spent that whole day wishing that it was a date.

I have loved you for so long
It feels like forever.

So **** this 15 days thing
I will love you till I die,
And I’ll even love you from hell.