pink comes up to me and asks who i have a crush on
i look around, picking a random boy and say “him.”
by tomorrow, everyone will know.
but i don’t actually like him.

yellow comes up to me and asks who i have a crush on
i’ve grown, matured, and yet i still look around, pick a girl from my friend group and say “her.”
by tomorrow, all my friends but her will know
but i don’t actually like her.

“her.” “him.” “them.”
“him.” “them.” “her.”
“them.” “her.” “him.”
“him.” “her. “them.”

purple comes up to me and asks who i have a crush on.
i look around
no one.
i guess my heart is green and grey.

I’m sorry I can’t
feel that way
about you

I wish that you didn’t
feel that way
about me

No matter what we’re called

we will be just the same

and yet I’m always asking -

just what is in a name?


Don’t want to call you boyfriend

(though we never got that far)

we’d act the same no matter what

no matter who we are

I promise I’m trying my best not to back out

and I promise and I promise and I know that you’re okay with me being unsure  

but it feels like I’m just a lost cause waiting for the inevitable day when you see

that this is it

this is all you’re getting from me

it feels like a lie though from day one you knew what you were getting into

and I tell you all the time that I can’t even figure myself out

and you offer to help me solve the puzzle but I don’t understand why you’re so willing

when I give you no guarantees

I guess you must love me

not weighing up the pros and cons like I do

you love unconditionally

like you're supposed to

and I can't help feeling like I'm not holding up my end of the deal

and even though I do all I can

I don’t think I'll ever feel the way that you do  

is that enough for you?