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S Smoothie Oct 2015
It was  a fraction of a flicker,
Though  it seemed so drawn out
passing through each other's spiritual planes
It all rushed through me,
An instant in forever
like time didn't mean a ****
And none of the writhing pain remembered,
until well and truly sobered,
And not in any depth,
even now in this forced reflection
Writing this useless scrawl
seeking a justification
for our concrete separation.

No luck.

The universe won't answer

The Sands of Time
keep slipping through
the glass walls that dive us.

Only the deepest sleep
brings the opportunity
To skip amongst the stars
cast away the game of hide and seek,
To play joyfully our celestial kiss chasey,
To catch each other in our arms,
Where the empty spaces of youare filled
And meld into a complete
Alchemic etherial union.


But like sleep,
astral dreams must end.
The light of reality
breaks through the window,
And I know every degree of separation
Our crueltly is the highest true sacrifice of our kind
The highest love requires the highest trust
And belief that nothing else matters
But the ethereal elevation
of every version of existence,

The karmic heart lessons must be learned
The test must be endured

I've drawn out every awakening
I've walked around in circles waiting for you
Every chance I slip,
Every time I see you again
With these earthly eyes
Feel your presence with this grounded soul,
I don't want to come home
But it's all in vain
I'm ready to leave this test,
I have to go;
The stars are calling,
hurry dearest  love,
I dont want to go
Please,
don't make me goto another plane
without you.
This is an excerpt from my book and is copyrighted
Scribblenaughts and Swoon Theories / Wound Theories
S Smoothie Oct 2015
I'm flicked over,
Stressed and confused
I've thrown it up to the Lord
But I have yet to hear news
Painful chest clenching heart wrenching wait
Will they show the value of faith?
Did I believe in the wrong people?
How dire the results if it's true
That all that love and patience
Was wasted on every one of you.


------------------


If you're looking for me
I'll just be here huddled in the corner,
fighting with whatever I can
Waiting for God.
S Smoothie Oct 2015
Alas,
once again,
like the emotionally insane refugee
who cannot find comfort in assylum,
there is no communion.

I come to find her gone,
And the vacuous space she left behind
Immeasurable.
S Smoothie Oct 2015
Cool morning blues
break warmer
as the sun floats gently
over the horizon.

Eyes flutter open,
the creases and cricks are
pushed out into a polite yawn...

A new day dawned,
lost hopes replaced with a new desire,
freedom whispers you can do it!

And I for once,
believe I can!
S Smoothie Oct 2015
Soft floating embers rise
from the fires of long remembered desires
Slowly twisting and twirling  like a sensual  dance
My thoughts reach out to capture the moments
before the cradled embers die
and fade one last time.
S Smoothie Jul 2015

Beaten
breathless
bruised
broken
torn
tattered
stiched up
resuscitated
and
resuscitated again.

that was the function of her heart

- to be pulled to pieces
Or pushed back in together again

and still
she managed
the miracle
of love.

...

her love was
unconditionally blind
but the strong quiet
beautiful kind
that no one thought
beautiful at all.

...

A perfectly perfunctory love.


S Smoothie Jul 2015
...

Life,
is gouging out holes in me
I dont know how to fill

...

Cavenous expanses,
where life force used to rage

...

each piece of me carved away
by the hands of time
at the whim of fate.

...

I claw on
more determined
to live the life I want
with the things I no longer need
tied behind me
where sentiment flails

...

weighted down
by a useless comfort
steming from a need
in some obscure part of me
I hardly recognise

...

while still,
daring to dream
the possibility
of discovering
the meaning
of my existence
or life,
or even.
the enigma of love
in the conumdrum living
Or perhaps,
so desperately
the unsolvable longing
in my soul.

...

Something

...

And Still.

no closer,

I discover;

more

holes

...
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