Apart from grieving my old self - that I liked, I’m mourning for my present self for trying to **** and reinvent itself, a dozen times within moments.

subconscious has its ways
I may have lost you already
far gone
conscious mind isn’t ready

Might be right
way too fast
Conscious has reasons
to be conscious

Maybe it’s the temperature
or the not being unsure
or the smell that’s familiar
that’s not too far
my mind’s at war
I’ve felt this before
Yes, I know when
But, I didn’t know then

From falling to pieces I can finally sense,
Everything is falling into its place,
That if I broke down a little later..
I would heal a little faster.

I saw you sitting across my seat on the train and felt your hand at the beach brushing against mine as I walk along the shore. I felt you everywhere like you promised. With every decision that I make, with every step I take, I hear you.

But like a fleeting cloud it’s there but I just watch it pass through my day. This is not me waiting rather I’m acknowledging that you are here and will always be.

I saw you sitting
In front of me
Across my seat
Like a reflection
As you are