Don’t tell me being numb
hurts less than a scar.
Don’t tell me feeling nothing
hurts less than a bruise.

After a while nothing
is, but not caring
turns to more pain
than you can imagine.

The only reason not to feel
is because of pain.
I’m told to feel nothing
because words don’t hurt.

Words hurt more than anything
the names I was called
changed who I was
and still hurt now.

You may say it once
but I repeat it.
over and over
until I believe it.

It turns to reality
my whole life story
'till it’s all I see
when I think of me.

And you can say it’s me
who picks up that knife
to hurt myself
but it’s not my fault.

It’s your words
that lift that knife.
And it’s your words
that put it in my arm.

And it’s your words
that I repeat
as I search for death
in everything.

It’s your words
that make me hate me.
And it’s your words
that made me this way.

Your words
take the form of a knife.
The knife that hurts me,
The knife I now need.

And I stand here
wondering how
you could possibly
not know.

Am I really that good
at pretending I’m fine?
that the words you’re saying
aren’t cuts in my arm?

Or is it just
that you don’t care?
That I’m really a no one,
just like you said?

Because to myself
I’m just your insults.
I’m just what you call me,
a person to hate.

All I am is your cruel words.

Before I come and wake you
With hot tea and kisses
I will say some quiet words
In the dark
where you cannot hear them

I founder sometimes in your beauty
As if the side or depth of it are out of reach
I sink beneath its density
How your body shudders
With unwinding joy
When everything and breathing stops
In one intense point of space and time
Resounding and fading
A sheer pulsing drift of wonder

Then I feel your flesh vibrating
Like strings beneath my fretted fingers
Like an ocean of dazed and dazzled being
Exploding beyond your senses
And flooding your soul with holy vespers

And I am blessed to be in your body at such a time

And I am further blessed
By the intimacy of your secrets
Those fears and hopes
Your most precious self that no one sees
Beyond the energies of life and death
Beyond healing and forgiveness

You let me touch your prayers

In grace and bright dawning
When being is done and the universe explodes
Will the murmurs of our love
taste like Sanctus on the lips of angels

And I will be blessed to be in you at such a time

Im walking around as a man,
I see all the peoples numbed
And hysterical running sideways
Awash in all the bumpers and
Window pains.

A whiff of life matters and its suicidal.
I walk sober and wonder of gardens
And simple natures, a return to all
That that I forgot.
I see the institutional shadows
Hogging all the light.

It so happens Im sober now
And I'm fed up with this circus.
Being this kind of man leaves
Me feeling plastic.

Still- it would be nice to rain
A little hope now and again,
Leaving the panic of bills and
Payments behind for a few,
Maybe just breathe and know I am alive,
But all the people seem to be
Dying of the shivers.

I cannot live like this,
Like a fool with no bearing,
Wide open and wounded dripping
All the demons that seem better
Than this realistic catastrophe,
Absorbing the monetary blows.

Ive had all I can take from
The sadness, the pain, the old demons.
I step into your world and I decided
I dont like it this way either,
Dying of normalcy and repetition.

I am no cadaver, underground with
A bunch of metaphorical cadavers,
The paper be the morgue,
The words be the morbidity of the
Life.

Thats why I flare up indside like
A bon fire, when you see me up close
With the face of a poet, the life
Of a rogue, broken down and
Walking with grey October,
You will see me.

Something shoves me toward hope,
Dripping the fragments of darkness,
I fly out the windows,
Smelling afresh the air I know
Is there, I smile and I know
That I make hope,
Such audacious hope.

There, the trusted doors I open,
The horror that I leave,
The repetition I smite,
I still all the mirrors and take a deep breath,
Unabashed crossing your path,
I see with crystalline eyes,
The world I make,
The wounded heart that still
Manages to love,

I dare to hope,
I dare to live,
I live to hope.....

Hello
I just want to say hello
In the longest way i possibly can
I saw you there and I knew
I wanted to speak to you
I had to speak to you
And the best thing I came up with
is hello
Hello isn't just a greeting
It has many different meanings
So many ways you can say hello
You can say hey
With just a simple word
I'm telling you all the things
I want to say
Hello can mean I like you
Hello can mean I miss you
Hello can mean please come to my side
Make sure you follow what comes next
Make sure you read between the lines
Hello is just a letter addressed to you
I'm going to write you a letter
And in it a single message
"Hello"

I remember your breath,
In the room without death,
You were ranting so strange with your hands.
Stroking your hair,
In the perfumed air
While the blossoms
Lay still on your land.

And those were the days,
And that was our world,
We were running from the filth
And the cash.
And I was in love
With your eerie kind soul,
I still have your
White ribbon sash.

But you weren’t aware,
With the books in your head,
Amongst the butterflies drifting around.
You weren’t aware,
With your bright shining hair,
Just sleep now,
You’re sleeping now,
Just sleep now,
You’re awake now,
Your fingertips gracing the ground.

I remember your breath,
In the room without death,
Your jewels useless,
They lay on the mat.
We sat and we sang,
Ignoring the bang,
As the prisoners were shot through their hats.

And then closing your eyes
From the outside noise,
That tried to sneak up under the door.
You sighed out a song,
You said ‘God no more’
I have lived well
Although I didn’t live long.

And you floated away,
Like a white feathered moth,
Your face
It was warmed by the sun.
You floated away,
On that tropical dusk day,
You’re asleep now,
Please just sleep now,
You’re asleep now,
A constant dream now,
Stop feeling the earth down

It’s done.

I lost it when the storm blew,

Wi-Fi, laptop, iPad too.

On my kindle, no bars found,

Oh lord, the internet is down.



My Facebook friends no longer poke,

I cannot tweet a single joke.

My iTunes offer not a sound,

Now the internet is down.



I finally fix that broken chair,

Clean my room, wash my hair.

Then I wander all around,

Now the Internet is down.



The library’s packed. And the theater too,

I need my fix. Can I sit here too?

Is Wi-Fi in another town?

Now the internet is down.



I’ll search the house and find a nook,

To finally read that Dan Brown book.

My thoughts are clear, my soul unbound,

Now the internet is down.



I’ll study French. Take up guitar,

I’ll search for wisdom, near and far.

To internet’s death, I raise my cup,

Wait. Never mind. It came back up.
:)

Everyone



needs to be told it's going to be okay sometimes.





And it will.