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Alaska Young Apr 2017
I'm a willing prey
You can devour anytime
I'm weak and old in love
I got dazzled by glittering promise of it
I'm nowhere
You can easily find
But I'm afraid
Behind my weakness and willingness to give out love were somethings I couldn't keep.
I'm chaotic
A storm a teacup can't contain
A willing prey that prosaic predator won't catch
I'm difficult.
Odd.
Peculiar.
And only peculiar of my same will understood me
People like you won't like the way I think
Perhaps you wouldn't want to know what I'm thinking
I'm telling you if you're going to love me, then prepare yourself to a nightmare
For I'm a collection of it
Of dismantled almost
Of misunderstood histories
Of odds and ends
And on all of those is where my demons hide.
189 · Apr 2017
The Trouble
Alaska Young Apr 2017
Loving someone incapable of loving you back
is better
than loving someone who can love
but won't ever love you.
Better not love at all.
I'm falling.
187 · Jun 2017
I'm Afraid
Alaska Young Jun 2017
If I'm gonna pray for you, I'm afraid you would not be given.
If I'm gonna take the risk, I'm afraid I will lose.
If I'm gonna be honest, I'm afraid I'll messed up.
If I'm gonna take the slightest courage of telling you about how I love everything about you, I'm afraid you'd hate me.
So I'm taking the step back.
I'm giving up.

We will end here.
And our story will never be told.
Just one request:
STOP giving me ******* reasons to hold on.
181 · Feb 2022
square one
Alaska Young Feb 2022
you used to be a stranger
and now,
you're becoming one again
at least I know it's not my fault
180 · Aug 2019
call me bitter
Alaska Young Aug 2019
you are nothing
but a distant lingering
memory
of who
i used to be
177 · Sep 2017
ANX
Alaska Young Sep 2017
ANX
I wanna scream so loud that no one will dare to listen on everything I had in my mind.
*******.
*******.
*******.
****.
172 · Jan 2022
archived
Alaska Young Jan 2022
all these conversations i made up in my head
just to fill up our lost communication
170 · Apr 2017
Rejection
Alaska Young Apr 2017
I've been a second choice for
twice, thrice, i don't know
I'm so used to it that I forgot how many times I became the last option.
169 · Feb 2018
SHE
Alaska Young Feb 2018
SHE
She will be turning 22...

She is a girl of sad soul and broken poetries
She doesn't want to be found but always leave traces
She craves attention yet let it slip when it comes on her way
She is a collection of dismantled almost, of chaos and troubles, of nonsense paradoxes
She said she can yet she cried every single night
She sought solitude but tripped over loneliness
She looked for love and found it on wrong places
She tried so hard but life always tried harder than she

But she will be turning 22...

She will be a woman of contented soul and lifeful poetries
She will be everywhere leaving traces of love and happiness
She will be independent of other's opinion and mentality
She will be a collection of adventures, beers and wolves
She will believe in herself and no amount of doubt will surface
She will still seek solitude but never mistook it again as loneliness
She will no longer look for love; for now she knows that love will find her eventually
And she will try a little harder everyday than life could ever did

She turned 22.
02.19.18
9:21pm
166 · Apr 2017
Not Your Everyday Queen
Alaska Young Apr 2017
I'm no princess
Not even a damsel in distress
I don't need saving.
Save yourself instead.
Be your own knight.
159 · Jul 2017
We Decide to Die
Alaska Young Jul 2017
"What's keeping you sane?"
She asked.
And I looked to her with all honesty inside me
I replied.
"The same thing that keeps you crazy."
In three seconds, we die.
156 · Aug 2017
Fuckworthy
Alaska Young Aug 2017
What do I learn in life so far?
Go, give **** with this one.

"don't throw ***** like confetti
choose only the fuckworthy ones"
149 · Jul 2018
Memories
Alaska Young Jul 2018
moments you shouldn't be visiting
quit tripping over them darling
i'm telling you, it's dangerous
it's like intentionally tripping again over the same rock
to willingly fall on the same spot you've been
it hurts
you already knew that
and it's ridiculous to be hurt by choice
it's crazy to made a mistake twice
so stop doing autopsies on memories
that died long ago
it's not worth it
149 · Jan 2018
Lesson #1
Alaska Young Jan 2018
grieve only for what you can't control
146 · Aug 2017
You're Beautiful
Alaska Young Aug 2017
words that water dead plants
Please stop.
144 · Jan 2018
A Reminder
Alaska Young Jan 2018
One day you may lose all the ways on
how to fix a broken trust
But always remember
that you are blessed with a beautiful heart
forgiveness will overflow
and mend all your broken parts.
144 · Jan 2020
i get it now
Alaska Young Jan 2020
it took--
countless sleepless nights
river of tears; ocean of sadness
dozen of prescribed pills
never-ending cycle of time travel to the memories we shared, half-hoping it'll happen again
years of doubting my worth
BUT I GET IT NOW
-----------------------------------
"Why you didn't stay?" I asked myself.
And the answer hit me like a thunderstorm stirring in a hot humid afternoon waiting to strike anytime:

"Some people came into our lives not to save us, but to teach us how to save ourselves."
i save myself today
142 · May 2019
Untitled
Alaska Young May 2019
my heart goes
to those
suffering
in depression and anxiety
sadness takes too much sometimes
140 · Jul 2018
Untitled
Alaska Young Jul 2018
stop bringing me to cloud 9
stop flying me to the moon
stop keeping my hopes high
i'm acrophobic
139 · Feb 2018
Word's Dearth
Alaska Young Feb 2018
We talk like we're always
running out of words.
I wish the alphabet could weave
more words,
and phrases
and sentences
that would be enough to tell you
how do I feel
I just hope
we're not missing
something really wonderful.
139 · May 2019
True Love
Alaska Young May 2019
When do you know it’s love?
When you’re in love with yourself
as much as you are in love
with someone.

True love will tell you
that you are
worth
loving.
136 · Sep 2017
Strings Unattached
Alaska Young Sep 2017
We're not okay and that's okay.
We are all a little ****** up sometimes.
We'll figure it out later.
But for now, cut all the ties.
Unattached all the strings
because i'm a bit tired and broken
i'm not fiiiiiiiiine, *******
134 · Jul 2019
hungry advice
Alaska Young Jul 2019
don't feed on memories
it'll keep you starving
133 · Jun 2019
a friendly reminder
Alaska Young Jun 2019
we are not our failures
we are what we choose to become after those failures
132 · Jun 2019
we all hope
Alaska Young Jun 2019
i hope the things that made u cry
late at night
someday will make u smile
and turn your day bright
131 · May 2020
impaled
Alaska Young May 2020
i don't forgive easily
i hold grudge
tight and firm
i hold it like an impaled object
stabbed in me
afraid that if I make a slight wrong move
or have the courage to pull it off
i might bleed to death

help me.
-slight confession (part1.1)
129 · Jul 2021
"sorry"
Alaska Young Jul 2021
----a consolation
for the prize you didn't win



please, DON'T try again
128 · Sep 2019
deaf by choice
Alaska Young Sep 2019
i think our biggest problem today
doesn't lie anymore
with not saying what we wanted to say
but
in listening only to what we wanted to hear
128 · Jun 2020
peaceful thinking
Alaska Young Jun 2020
I find peace in thinking
that I could settle somewhere
cold but green
being sustainable and nature-lover
127 · May 2019
every you
Alaska Young May 2019
I wonder how could I forget
something I just said
in a blink of a second
but couldn’t forget
every detail of you.
126 · May 2019
Pain to Pen
Alaska Young May 2019
How did I learn to write?

When I learn, that pain can actually be a pen.
And blood turns to ink.
i learned writing in a hard way
125 · May 2020
mirrored
Alaska Young May 2020
I hope you don't hate
the reflection you see
when u look in the mirror
124 · May 2019
raw
Alaska Young May 2019
raw
You gotta write what you feel,
when you feel it.
Rawness became so underrated these days.
Alaska Young May 2020
Living in this world was never easy for me
to be honest i used to find peace in the thought of death
end of all - pains, sufferings, trials, heartbreaks
because why try hard to live when dying is hundred percent easier
I socialize, but deeply I hate human interactions
My mom used to tell me when she's mad
that I'm better off alone
And I must admit I'm really good at being alone
My best friend said that she can't imagine someone would tame my attitude, I'm twisted, complicated and I can't blame them
I don't even understand myself most of the time
123 · Mar 2020
not us, not anymore
Alaska Young Mar 2020
They say,
If two people are meant to be,
In the end it'll be their story.

But after you left, I say
If we're still meant to be,
Then **** destiny
121 · Jul 2021
love letter
Alaska Young Jul 2021
dearest inay,

you won't be able to read this
but still I wanted to write
hoping that angels will whisper my words to you

inay, your passing is the most painful I ever had
no words can explain the pain I felt on that November morning
and after half a year, tears still streaming
I wish I could blame someone
I wish I could just say that it's just a matter of time
and everything will be okay
but I know deep down, everything will never be the same

I didn't tell you before
but you are the definition of a mother to me
you are so selfless and caring and loving
and when I'm with you
I feel like I'm a child that needs protection
not an independent girl people have known me to be

I pray, God will let me meet you again in another lifetime
I wish you could be my child
so that I can show you how good mother you are.

i miss you so much and it breaks my heart knowing that in this life, we will never have a chance to speak again
121 · May 2019
What else?
Alaska Young May 2019
They asked me why I’m sad.
And I tell them,
if you’re not happy,
what else could you be?
116 · Jan 2018
The Infinite Moment
Alaska Young Jan 2018
That one second when you feel limitless and forget the world
When the lights are glaring at you
Waving every pain and truth
Echoing the tunnel song that lets you danced on the ledge
Tiptoeing every beat of your heart
-I wish I had one.
111 · May 2020
happy days
Alaska Young May 2020
How many of your days here are happy?
And how many of those are real?
It is my sincerest wish that you find real happiness.
110 · Jan 2019
Home
Alaska Young Jan 2019
your smell is the closest
I've been to home
110 · Mar 2018
Untitled
Alaska Young Mar 2018
we dip ourselves on *****
played it cool
and tried so hard to pretend
that it's ok
109 · May 2019
...
Alaska Young May 2019
...
what's meant to be will always find a way
like a trapped water finding its way out
106 · May 2019
Liar
Alaska Young May 2019
He tells me, he wouldn’t.
Yet he ******* did.
Alaska Young May 2019
I told myself I will forget you.
I didn't say I would do it.
102 · Apr 2018
Untitled
Alaska Young Apr 2018
maybe that moment holds a little hope for us
roughly, maybe
101 · Aug 2020
my reality is corrupted
Alaska Young Aug 2020
have you ever had a dream so good
that when you wake up
it hurts so bad?
Alaska Young May 2019
You can see different souls
in different perspectives
and sync with them
99 · Mar 2018
Teach Me
Alaska Young Mar 2018
Teach me how to mock a laugh
when you tell me you're in love
but not with me
96 · Aug 2019
to the sad ones
Alaska Young Aug 2019
your soul was made to stand the fire
burn the rage of sadness
and like phoenix rise from the ashes
Alaska Young May 2019
People who are very cautious of
who can walk in and out
of their lives
experience pain in extreme way

You can't blame their hearts.
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