As we picked up the sticks and stones we used to break each others' bones,
our bodies tensed in the claustrophobic silence.
Never forgetting elephant in the room, she wouldn't go unnoticed.
Over-sized, heavy mammoth, pregnant with disclosure
Yet she couldn't give life to her word's desires.
Stillborn.
But the waters were far from it.
They escaped from my eyes, down my face
running wild and free, sweeping away everything in its path as my heart wished it could.
On your face, they roared like waves travelling at great speeds,
crashing onto the shores of an island neither of us felt welcomed in.
We cried.
We belted our sorrows to the skies while rainstorms consumed our eyes.

& there we were.
Picking love's splinters from our hands.
Asking questions that would never leave our mouths.
Giving answers to questions trapped in our dreams.
You, my love, had the upper hand.
I gave you the bigger piece of the wish bone.
I placed the ball in your court & you just kept bouncing it to yourself.
Up and Down.
Not much flight.
No direction -  Like a bird with vertigo.

It broke my heart to stare at the silhouette my private parts know so well
but still unable to see the soul that played bodyguard to my private thoughts & dreams
that sometimes I couldn't even admit to myself,
but somehow you just knew.

You've changed.
You're not the angel I once knew.
Bright eyed, optimistic and sure of yourself.
A smile so bright it blinded the sun
and a laugh like poetry in motion.
A heart sliced from the breast of an angel
and a love deeper and richer than a saltan's pockets.

No need to tell me now we're through.
It's all over now.
You've Changed.

I understand, where your coming from,
But do you understand, what you have done,
What have you done, where's all this coming from,
You used to be so different, you used to be my dear friend,
Why is this happening, tell me why this is happening

Last night I dreamt I committed suicide;
and it wasn't beautiful or poetic
it simply was yet another death.
I felt boneless and dizzy as I awoke on the dawn
of yet another day.
The sun shone through cracks in my window but
relief never came of not having that dream real.

Last night I forgot to sleep, I forgot to feel;
and I didn't toss around my bed but laid
as a corpse does in his casket.
I felt numb and yet somehow disappointed
of not having someone to scare away this beast.
This beast that clings to my body like a second skin,
this beast which eats away my sun,
this beast that grows with the ennui of life,
this beast which spits on raw wounds of my flesh.
It keeps me caged,keeps me inside,
belittling me and snickering just when I have managed
to get a foot out the door-
so I step back in and close it firmly shut.

Last night I prayed to anyone who would listen
and it was poignant and pathetic because
I awoke to another bright day of laughter from my peers
and I could do nothing but stare from a faraway place
with white noise stuck in my head.

I rather bleed on to paper
And have people know I was here
Than bleed onto cold pavements
And have it washed by the rain

If he ever wondered about me
I would want him to know
That smile on my face- it's fake
In fact
Most of the time
tears cascade down my cheeks
And when i studied the ground
That was because I didnt want him to see
One look in my eyes
Thats all it would take for him to
realize how weak I truly am