when
you
left,
i
stopped
believing
in
second
chances

however,
i
started
realizing
what
terminals
and
checkpoints
are
for

we were inside a gazebo
alone together
with salt caramel beer on our hands
and sticks of nicotine
to syncopate our life spans
to fill the dead air,
you thought it was a great idea
to talk about our vices
you asked me why
i drink and smoke
i told you that
***** is like my own personal body of water
my ocean,
my river,
my stream,
my sea,
my dead sea
where i could either sink or swim,
even float effortlessly
and i only smoke when
heaving a sigh is not enough
i threw the same question right back at you
and you said
you have always been a sucker for winning
so you drink to outdrink
and smoke to outsmoke
your buddies
but most of the time, yourself

we may have different reasons
but we both agreed that
we are at our sanest when we are at our drunkest

you gave me another bottle
and asked me if i was  
up for a challenge

i nodded at you
and that's the last thing I could remember