erika's coming back in two weeks.
ah, the prodigal sister
who promised me that she'd give anything to spend the summer
with me
her
bestfriend
me who's
been alone
all year already
and trying to be ok
but no, she has to stay at school during the summer
study with her voice professor
launch her career
i
*******
get it
but give her
one day
and she calls dad
says she's going to kentucky
for the summer
to have fun
on her own
...oh.

i really don't remember ever being that angry
or hurt
i remember throwing things
and kicking a chair
and my foot even bled
and i swore at dad
and sobbed
and it was ridiculous
but it was how my insides felt.

and now she is back
for two weeks
and then gone again
i'm looking for somewhere to be
for two weeks
anyone want to
adopt me

Poetry... Love...
Pathos... Faith... Beauty... Chaos... Epiphany... Longing...
Revolution... Madness... Desire... Life... Emotion...

synonyms maybe......?

I don't know why it's been hitting me so hard these past few days.
Maybe it's the amount of time I've been spending with you,
or the realisation of how little time I have left to spend with you.

You keep telling me I'll survive and I know I will.
It's just that I don't want to.
And I hate that I have to.

people do not die.

they
fall through pavement
or slide under semi-trucks
or glide off bridges
into the soft embrace of water
into a place
in another state

and i don't ever see them
because they moved away
but they will be back
and maybe it's hard to keep in contact
long distance
relationships
****
but someday we'll hang out again
and it will be weird at first
because we will have changed
and
grown
but after a while
it will feel
just the same

******
a ****** of crows
****** your cousin
a ******
is it a mob, a crime, a vacant thought
depends
on how you view

mur der....

Sometimes I wonder if I like being tragic
And utterly and mysteriously broken.
I can't decide if I'm beautifully tragic,
Or tragically beautiful,
Or just a ******* selfish wreck.