Look up from your phone
what do you see.

Its hard when you say
Something and everyone else
Hears something different.

LIES! LIES! LIES!.
Being over fluttering to me Pretending
You where there for me.
You can't even tell the difference between being hurt and being mad
I was just a pawn.
Even now you smile as the tears
Roll down my eyes.
I don't care how beautiful you think you are, but if your heart is ugly
That makes you the ugly to.
You take pleasure from other peoples
Pain it gives you a high.
I have tried hard to find the good in you but i can't find it.

How do I start this poem?
How do I tell you that I love you?.
Because the bed is burning and my mind is full
Ready to burst.

Your the secret that I love to keep
Waiting on  your message with anticipation.
Feeling my heart beat so hard.
Feeling things words can explain.

Longing to feel you pull me close.
Longing to taste your kiss.
Dreaming of being alone in your arms.
Getting lost in your eyes.

Your more than just a secert
Your my favourite to secert to keep

Why.
Must I hide my sensuality
When it's a beautiful thing
I watch your eyes roll
But you still have no answer for me

Look up and you will find me in the rainbow.
Look up and you will find me stars.
Look up and you will find me in the moon.
Look up and you will find me in the sun rise.
Look up and you will find me in the sun set.
We maybe worlds apart.
I am every where you look.
I am in very you song you hear.
I am all around you.
Just look and you will find me.

Lost in
Dreams of you
That never last

My only relief is sleep.
Where I'm free.
Not hurting or crying.
Living with out fear.
Until morning comes taken it away.

I must confess I put my pen down not
Sure if I would write poetry again.
Took a step back took time out
Wondered what was next.

Sitting by the water watching as the
World passes me by.
I met a poet who said write what you
Feel not what people want to read.

The greatest poets of our time made
Mistakes and had haters.
Life brings you lovers and haters
But you keep writing.

Never stop doing what you love go home and just listen to your heart.

Take the mask off when your
Talking to me.
Let me see the real you
Flaws and all.
Show me the you that no one knows.

Blood stained streets.
Buying a ticket for a one way train
Leaving the place I called home
If you saw the Glasgow I knew it would it change your mind
It's the one place where hopes and dreams can't survive
A concert jungle that keeps you trapped if you  allow it
Bags packed sitting on the train waiting for it to leave the station and take me far away from this nightmare.

I remember the first times and all
The beautiful times,
Every emotion felt every tear cried.
The smile on my lips the butterflies
In my stomach.
Its not the first moment that hurts
Its the last moment that hurt.

Yes I made a mistake wrote a few
Bad poems I want to forget.
Ready to move on picking up my pen
Listening to my heart as it speaks.

Met a poet who helpped me
With some wise words.
Picked up my pen and wrote again.
Started a new poetry class.

Found my way and found my voice
Learned something new.
Found a new love for the poetry
I almost never wrote again.

Now I am back at it with a new
Poetic voice and tone.

the camera never lies
But the pictures do.
A picture paints a thousands words and tells a thousands
Lies too.

The more I look at people
The more I see their true colours,
Not all colours are pretty.

It's late and I should be sleeping,
But the anxious thoughts won't let me.
I try to put a brave face on everything
And smile even when I am hurting.

I don't know why I feel this way or
Why I just feel like crying.
I can't always explain my thought when I don't understand them myself.

It's a beautiful day when all I want to do is just lock myself away.
I wish that I could feel so much different.

I wish the depression and anxiety would set me free.

I came looking for help I got silence
And a cold shoulder.
Watching faces hide behind mask spinning a Web of lies.
In darker times I sat alone without
A hand to hold.
Why come to me now when I don't need you.

I am not sure what to think or
Feel anymore.
Everyone keeps talking like
I am not in the room.
Hiding the pain holding back
The tears.

While they say.
It's just an act.
She needs to snap out of it.
She needs to get up and
Get on with it.
She needs a push.

I wish I was normal.
I wish I didn't feel like this.
I wish that I wasn't so
Broken.

I wish I wasn't the embarrassment
They see me as.
I wish the suffering in my head
Would stop.
I wish they knew how feels to
Be broken.

None wants to be broken.
None choose to be depressed.
It's feelings you have no control over.

I choose to be alone.
Burying my pain in lines of poems.
Crying where I can't be seen.

depression.
Is not an act you can stop.
It's not a feeling you can control.
It's a life long battle.

To me.
I am broken and trying hard to
Be happy and get through
The day.

To everyone else.
It just an act I am nothing more
Than an attention seeker.

A long deep kiss.
He tastes every word and licks each
Thought that lives in her mind
There's a darkness inside me
That he likes to swim in the power intoxicates her
Dipping her fingers into his soul watching his throat swallow each soft moan
He was what her body craved and she was the fire he wanted burnt by

My eyes close and suddenly I am alone
With you in a beautiful dream.
I can't wake up because I want to stay
In this moment with you.
Feeling your lips pressed against mine
Feeling our bodies entwine
Becoming one.
Lost in every inch of a dreamful pleasure words just can't explain.
Wrapped up in your arms my heart is heavy.
Because when morning comes the dream is over.

It always sounds the same
I'll stop tomorrow.
But tomorrow never seems to come.

Watching as heads are buried in
The sand.
Telling yourself it will change.

I have grown tired of the lies and
The never ending excuses.
This problem will never change.

You can't help someone who doesnt
Want to help themself.
The ice is getting thinner and thinner.

You have choose this life.
You have made your bed and now
You can lay in it.

Walking away saying nothing feeling
Like a volcano that's ready to blow.
A long slow conut to ten in the hope this anger will cease to be.

Fire in my veins my blood runs cold
Holding back the gates of fury.
Walking through the halls of hell in
No mood for playing games.

It's nice when the good days come but
You know the bad days will come to.
Watching and waiting trying to be
Ready for when it hits you.

But some how it always catches me off
Guard and I fall apart.
Battling the mixed emotions drowing in my own thoughts.

My war happen deep within
Ands it all hidden with a smile.

Your heart is as black as the night sky.
Your eyes are colder than winter.
You let hate consum you.
Your the lonely one who is who crying
Without a hand to hold.

I stop and stare at what society has become fake faceless and hateful.
Everyone wants a short cut or a quick fix without the hard work.
Basic skills lost the art of conversion is dead, try talking to someone who is lost their phone.
Ipads read the bedtime storise more percious moments lost.
Alexa is used more and more.
Society has made us feel we can't reach out, until we have reached crisis point.
Why don't we do anything for ourselfs anymore?.
Why do we chase perfection when its not real?.
Whats wrong with taking thr mask off a d just being ourselfs.

There's no heart left to break.
There's nothing left to take.
There's no tears left to cry.
There's no happy ending.
There's no silent nights either.

Let me tell you one thing.
Your beautiful as you as are.
Your to strong too live hurt.
Please stop chasing one who keeps
Breaking your heart, you
Deserve so much more.
Don't care what strangers think
Care about the ones who love you.
Forget about finding the perfect picture and filter just be yourself.
Refuse to used by anyone.
If your not their first choice then they
Need to be shown the door.
You are enough and you
Deserve someone who wants to
Mend you heart and protect it.
Your special because your one
Of a kind.
You are more than enough.

Will I pretend to be happy so you
Can feel better?.
How many times have you said
This is last time?.

While everything is a game or an act
We are lift to pick up the pieces.
Beer cans and wine bottles every were
You ask why the angry face.

You say that your an adult you don't
Need told what to do.
Live in a ***** house drink yourself
To death I am past caring.

The day you crossed the line was
When you spit in my face.

People will always come into your
Life making you love them.
But it is how they leave that stays with you

Lonely nights and dying days.
Moving from day to day
No need to check my phone because
I know what is waiting
The can you help me messages
The where are you messages
Dying inside just that little bit more
Waiting for the light to fade
Darkness brings me comfort and freedom
Those few preicous hours of short
Lived peace

Why does everything have to
Happen all at once.
Meet the perants settle down before
Time.
Rush to have the perfect home start
A family to keep everyone happy.
Why doesn't anyone just slow
Down and just breathe?.

The closest ones to me never see the
Talented the poet.
They just see the woman with
With a broken mind,
The woman who has no talent,
In their eyes.
They don't say keep writing,
No words of encouragement.
I am not a talented poet,
Just a woman with a broken mind,
Who writes.

The crashing waves kisses the shore
Everytime they meet.
Never will there be another touch
That feels as good as yours.
Never will I hear anything as sweet
As your voice in my ear.
Not even the cool summer breeze feel as good as your fingertips on my skin.
I will never love again or give my
Heart to someone else.

I let my guard down letting you in.
Believed the dream you sold.
The doubt in my mind gets louder.
I read your messages.
I hear your voice in my dreams but i
Am not sure if it's the real you.
Sometimes I wish that I never answered Your message.
Then I wouldn't feel like this you
Were someone I once loved.

The first impression is the
Real impression.