The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.

Its okay to struggle and cry
But a better tomorrow is a day away.

Your like a wrong answer that i
Keep finding over and over.

I am not wrong for not believing the
Same thing as you.
We see the world in a different way.
This poem isn't about you.

I am wrong for being real and not hiding behind a lying mask.
You know what I am broken and
In a dark place.

You look at me with shameful eyes.
Do you think I wanted this.
Do you think I wanted to be battle with anxiety and depression.

I doubt everything you said
Because it is as fake as you.

My head is always in the clouds
Lost in day dreams.
Escaping the black and white reality
That I know so well.

Is it wrong to be inspired by anything
That makes you write better.
Is it wrong to try and write something
Better.

Love not hate.
Be happy don't worry.
Enjoy the moment.
Don't be scared to dream.

Crashing waves.
Skimming stones.
Broken hearts.
Shattered dreams.
Lost words.
Silent tears.
Gained nothing
Lost everything.

It will hurt to say goodbye but
In the end it's for the best.
All good things must come to an end
Even you and me.
Go and forget me forever I hope
You find your happy ending.

Why.
Must I hide my sensuality
When it's a beautiful thing
I watch your eyes roll
But you still have no answer for me

As things fall
Apart you
Will remember how
I was the glue
That held everything
Together.

A cry for help not heard.
I wish I could have stopped you
From hurting yourself.
I wish I could heal the cuts and make
Them go away.

How i do make you see that this is
Not what i want.
Trying to make you listen is like
Trying to make the blind see.

You are
The pain I won't remember.
The memory I'll forget.
The demon that made me strong.
The words that made This a poem.

I want to trust.
But I can't.

I want believe.
But I don't.

I want the truth.
But I am scared of it.

I want to love.
But I don't know how.

Can't imagine you care about the life's you ruin over the years.

Can't imagine you think about the families you broke up.

Can't imagine how you look in the mirror and love what you see.

Can imagine how it feels to be as two faced as a coin.

Can imagine how you could bully me day and night.

No sister of mine more like a jealous cold hearted *****.

The cruel words still hurt.
The thoughts won't go away.
The scars won't heal anymore.
It maybe the past to you.
But the pain never dies.

I have never been a Saint or angel.
I have made mistakes.
Watched the snakes tell there lies.
I don't believe the same as you.

I stopped going to chruch I couldn't
See all the fake faces.
Have them preaching at me.
Telling me I am wrong.

Wrong because I don't believe the same as them.
Wrong because I can confess my sins
And not cover them up.

I didn't stop believing I just open
My eyes to the fake face and smiles.

How can anyone promise forever?,
When love can change without warning.
The heart is a fragile thing.

The night scares me because I know
The anxious thoughts are waiting.
Waking up in a cold sweat crying.
The screams still haunt me.

Wishing that I could get out of the
Dark maze that's my mind.
If the doctor has a pill for long lasting happiness I would take it.

Everyone tells me your not meant to
Feel this at all and anxiety isn't real.
This is why I write in my notebook and don't talk to you at all.

Anxiety ruins your life come live in my head and then tell me it's not real.

The songs brown sugar red wine
And don't worry be happy.
Always me smile I remember how much
You didn't like they songs.

I will always love you think twice and
When will I see you again always
Made you cry.

There's been so many songs over the years
Almost to many to name.
But one song always stands out.

Alan Jackson's remember when
Has become the song that make me cry.

Do?
My words sound like a rant.
Are my words too real.
Are my words not real enough.

A stole a childhood a lost teenage
Youth a past I can't change.
You made me scared of everything
I felt angry and guilty for years.
I will not give you one more day of my
Life or space in my head.
Your words might still haunt me but
You never changed me.
Some day I will be free but I won't carry this hate anymore.

Everything seems to catch me in
The darkness of the night.
Counting stars until i fall alseep
While my mind trys to stop.
Staring at the moon lost in a crowd
Of thoughts and feelings.
Night doesn't always bring me comfort or rest.

It all started with red wine kisses
Tantalising touches,
Soft whispers dreams shared,
Memories made.
Now those memories lay scattered on
The floor along with the heart you broken.

I am trying.
To keep my head above the water
But there's always something
That wants to me pull me under.

My heart is full of deep bleeding
Wounds thats keep bleeding.
Every mistake ever made is put on
Replay so i don't forget them.
Turn the other cheek but to be honest
I am getting tried of doing that.
I love to escape into dreams where i
Am so far away from the pain.
My happiest smile hides all ugly hurtful things said to me.
Sometimes i wish someone would just
Come and take me to a better life.
Because my eyes sting from all the tears i have cried.
Even as i write these words tears roll
Down cheeks.

I watched.
Stars fall into the sea
Kicking the demons off my heals
Kissing angels
Staining their wings shaking off
These heavy chains
I met a tanned beauty with perfect
white teeth who said all the
Right things
Darkness falls he calls me to his bad
Touching the broken parts of me no one wanted
He saw into the depths of my soul
It didn't matter if he was an
Angel or demon he
Make feel like queen.

I don't need a facebook status to let
Everyone know what i am doing.
I can brush off the fat jokes because i have heard it before.
But what hurts me the most is the ones who thinks i can't do anything.
They are the people who cause me
The most damage.

Everynight I lay in bed.
Feeling empty feeling numb.
I just don't know what to feel anymore.

Feeling like a wandering broken soul.
Searching for that feeling once felt.
Finding nothing.

Happiness turns to sadness.
Love turns to hate.
Anger grows more everyday.

Been down so many times.
I am not sure that I want to get back up.
Asking my self what's the point.

Trying to keep a dying heart alive.
Lost in the darkness of my own mind.
Feeling a pain that's just too much.

Can't sleep can't think can't breath.
Listening as the clock ticks away
So slowly.

Longing to just go and do my own thing.
None looking over my shoulder.
I dream of being free from this pain.

Catching dreams and living in the moments I know are forbidden.
Lips bitten in the darkness touched with tenderness we both carved.
Covered by a wave of a lustful excitement.
Wrapped in the curves of his body
The place I always long to be.
Crys of pleasure feeling things
My heart had forgot how to feel.
Finding the missing piece of me that I
That I lost.

Bitter sweet espresso kisses.
Staring into the horizon
A kaleidoscope of mixed emotions
A list of pro's and con's
One perfect moment contain in a snow globe where time never moves
Sometimes I wonder wouldn't it be nice to life in a snow globe

Its 1 am
The wind has gone to sleep watching a candles flame burning away.
Remembering how the sun always shined and we lived for fun.
Laughing so hard tears rolled down our cheeks.
Sitting up late into the night time seem to stand still.
Its 2 am
It feels so empty with out you.  
The pillows is wet from the tears I have cried
A heart filled with pain.
Can't think anymore
Your fading into to a dream I am not living anymore.
Its getting harder to breath.
Its 3 am
How can I sleep while the bed is burning.
Trying to forget you but can't.  
The walls are closing in on me
My mind is spinning.
Your my oxygen I can't breath.
Its 4 am
Falling a sleeping.
The candles are burn out.
In a dream that feels so real
Feels your touch.
It feels so real.
Wakes up to find you are no were never me
Maybe one day,you'll fade away and my dreams will fall apart.

Walking away saying nothing feeling
Like a volcano that's ready to blow.
A long slow conut to ten in the hope this anger will cease to be.

Fire in my veins my blood runs cold
Holding back the gates of fury.
Walking through the halls of hell in
No mood for playing games.

It's nice when the good days come but
You know the bad days will come to.
Watching and waiting trying to be
Ready for when it hits you.

But some how it always catches me off
Guard and I fall apart.
Battling the mixed emotions drowing in my own thoughts.

My war happen deep within
Ands it all hidden with a smile.

Make your own music.
Sing songs loud.
Take more risks.
Chase your dreams.
Worry less laugh more.
Do what you love.
Live for today.
Forget the past.
Love who you are.

I could say a million hurtful things
But I won't.
Instead it's better not to react and
Just move on.
Sometimes it's better to walk away
Than let someone take a piece of you