Is it wrong to be inspired by anything
That makes you write better.
Is it wrong to try and write something
Better.

Your the little face who is always
Happy to see me.
The little one who wants a hug.
Who's laugh brightens up
A bad day.
I never I knew I could love anyone
This much.

The songs brown sugar red wine
And don't worry be happy.
Always me smile I remember how much
You didn't like they songs.

I will always love you think twice and
When will I see you again always
Made you cry.

There's been so many songs over the years
Almost to many to name.
But one song always stands out.

Alan Jackson's remember when
Has become the song that make me cry.

I want to trust.
But I can't.

I want believe.
But I don't.

I want the truth.
But I am scared of it.

I want to love.
But I don't know how.

Flashing Christmas lights and slient nights. It's been five year years since you have been gone.

I miss how you loved this time of year. Watching movies we have seen a hunder times.

There was always the smell of hot chocolate, and apple pie coming from the kitchen.

It's not the big things I miss it's all the little things you did that I miss so much

For years all you did was make
Me suffer over and over.
You put me down but you couldn't
Keep me down.
You hated how people liked me more
Than they liked you.
I never did anything but just be myself.
I am tierd of the lies you spread like butter on hot toast.
You smiled at me as you burn all
my notebooks one by one.
You can burn everything that I have.
But it doesn't change anything.
Because your still alone.
Hate me if you need to but it doesn't take the your pain away.
You will be the lonely troll who lives
Under a bridge I have had enough.

The cruel words still hurt.
The thoughts won't go away.
The scars won't heal anymore.
It maybe the past to you.
But the pain never dies.

A cry for help not heard.
I wish I could have stopped you
From hurting yourself.
I wish I could heal the cuts and make
Them go away.

Its 1 am
The wind has gone to sleep watching a candles flame burning away.
Remembering how the sun always shined and we lived for fun.
Laughing so hard tears rolled down our cheeks.
Sitting up late into the night time seem to stand still.
Its 2 am
It feels so empty with out you.  
The pillows is wet from the tears I have cried
A heart filled with pain.
Can't think anymore
Your fading into to a dream I am not living anymore.
Its getting harder to breath.
Its 3 am
How can I sleep while the bed is burning.
Trying to forget you but can't.  
The walls are closing in on me
My mind is spinning.
Your my oxygen I can't breath.
Its 4 am
Falling a sleeping.
The candles are burn out.
In a dream that feels so real
Feels your touch.
It feels so real.
Wakes up to find you are no were never me
Maybe one day,you'll fade away and my dreams will fall apart.

Make your own music.
Sing songs loud.
Take more risks.
Chase your dreams.
Worry less laugh more.
Do what you love.
Live for today.
Forget the past.
Love who you are.

Everynight I lay in bed.
Feeling empty feeling numb.
I just don't know what to feel anymore.

Feeling like a wandering broken soul.
Searching for that feeling once felt.
Finding nothing.

Happiness turns to sadness.
Love turns to hate.
Anger grows more everyday.

Been down so many times.
I am not sure that I want to get back up.
Asking my self what's the point.

Trying to keep a dying heart alive.
Lost in the darkness of my own mind.
Feeling a pain that's just too much.

Can't sleep can't think can't breath.
Listening as the clock ticks away
So slowly.

Longing to just go and do my own thing.
None looking over my shoulder.
I dream of being free from this pain.

My heart is full of deep bleeding
Wounds thats keep bleeding.
Every mistake ever made is put on
Replay so i don't forget them.
Turn the other cheek but to be honest
I am getting tried of doing that.
I love to escape into dreams where i
Am so far away from the pain.
My happiest smile hides all ugly hurtful things said to me.
Sometimes i wish someone would just
Come and take me to a better life.
Because my eyes sting from all the tears i have cried.
Even as i write these words tears roll
Down cheeks.

You never listen
Because you don't care.

You never let
Anyone one be happy.

You never see
The good in anything.

I feel sad for you.

How i do make you see that this is
Not what i want.
Trying to make you listen is like
Trying to make the blind see.

We are born in one day.
We die in one day.
We cry in one day.
Everything can change,
In one day.

When you die my eyes will be dry.
I'll not be shedding a tear.
I'll be having a party.
Dancing on your grave.

All i ever wanted,
Was a dad who would keep me safe
And tell me how proud he was.
But heaven must have ran out of good
Dads.

I have never been a Saint or angel.
I have made mistakes.
Watched the snakes tell there lies.
I don't believe the same as you.

I stopped going to chruch I couldn't
See all the fake faces.
Have them preaching at me.
Telling me I am wrong.

Wrong because I don't believe the same as them.
Wrong because I can confess my sins
And not cover them up.

I didn't stop believing I just open
My eyes to the fake face and smiles.

I can think of nothing else but writing
My poetry on every Inch of your
Body using my lips.

The sting of tears kiss my eyes.
Your words cut like a knife.
I have been shining longer more than you have ever seen.
I have fought more fights and came
Out with the scars.
Never tell me its my time to shine.
I have never stopped shinning.

A stole a childhood a lost teenage
Youth a past I can't change.
You made me scared of everything
I felt angry and guilty for years.
I will not give you one more day of my
Life or space in my head.
Your words might still haunt me but
You never changed me.
Some day I will be free but I won't carry this hate anymore.

The night scares me because I know
The anxious thoughts are waiting.
Waking up in a cold sweat crying.
The screams still haunt me.

Wishing that I could get out of the
Dark maze that's my mind.
If the doctor has a pill for long lasting happiness I would take it.

Everyone tells me your not meant to
Feel this at all and anxiety isn't real.
This is why I write in my notebook and don't talk to you at all.

Anxiety ruins your life come live in my head and then tell me it's not real.

I don't need a facebook status to let
Everyone know what i am doing.
I can brush off the fat jokes because i have heard it before.
But what hurts me the most is the ones who thinks i can't do anything.
They are the people who cause me
The most damage.

Crying in the darkness a place to hide these tears. The stars to you are just mirrors and the moon is a light. Love is a hunger that burns in my heart, you never see the see pain.
The marks left on my heart still hurt.
The pain still takes my breath away.
One of us is lying while one of us dying.
Every cut runs so deep leaving a scar behind.
I dont want to talk about how you broke and shattered my heart.

Once you saw nothing but me
Now you look through me,
As if i was a ghost.

Life is a balance of holding on
Letting go and trying again.

I could say a million hurtful things
But I won't.
Instead it's better not to react and
Just move on.
Sometimes it's better to walk away
Than let someone take a piece of you

This woman.

Has fought many battles and is still standing.
Has cried an ocean of tears and is still smiles.
Has been broken betrayed put down and rejected, but she walks proud.
Laughs loud.
Loves with all her heart.
This woman is fearless.
This woman is strong.
This woman is ME!!!

Given so much.
Asked for nothing.
Watched people leave.
No good byes said.
Never seen or heard.
Darkness is my only friend.
Loneliness is the blanket that surrounds me.

I watched the puppet master
Control his puppet.
I tried to open the puppets eyes but he
Never saw what I saw.

Love is love.
If it makes you happy and you have your happy ending long may it last.
Everyone deserves to be loved.

With him my soul could be naked
We shared beautiful moments,
We had deep meaningful moonlit conversations,
He reminded me what it was like to
Dream to again,
I love the mornings laying in his arms
He feeds my soul in ways no one else
Ever does I feel alive.

Love turns to hate.
Pavements made with tears and heart ache.
Growing tiered of the place once loved.
Not a home but a prison without the bars.
Tiered of playing never ending games.
Watching every move made.
Watching your back day and night.
Never knowing what happens.
Sleepless nights and worrying minds.
Can't die here like others before me have.
Searching for a happy ending.
No more moving from place to place.
Hoping for one good Christmas.
All I ever wanted was a place to call home.