He had a heart attack. I gave him cpr. When I rolled him over to clear his airways, beacuse he puked in my mouth, I therw my back out. The ambulance took 45 min to get there. He died in my arms. I watched his deep purple face take his last ragged breath. I lost my everything in a matter of moments. My best friend, my confidant, my roommate, the best father to my children anyone could ever ask for, my rock; just gone! He's gone and I can't ever hug him again. I can't tell him I love him any more n hear him say ,"I love you more." I can never again respond "nope". no more family trips, no more weird conversations in the middle of the night or early in the mornings. He's ******* gone! I cant sleep, it all replays in my mind as im watching him die over and over agan seeing his lifeless eyes and swollen tongue, and the color purple, I used to love purple but now it will forever haunt my waking and sleeping dreams; and im so not ok!
Brian, I love you so much. I miss you so uncontrollably. I am so lost without you. Im broken and unwhole. I am never going to be the same again. I wish I could hug you n tell you I love you I wish this where all a bad nightmare. But it's not. And in can't even ever look at you gain. I hope your happy where you at and your surrounded by beautiful woman that throw themselves at you relentlessly. I hope there are 2 life size flat screen tvs playing red wings and lions I hope you have a window to watch your loved ones as they grow. I hope you realize how much you are missed and how many people whom love you that you left behind. I will always love you with my hole heart n not just a part .