I'm not in a ******* good place! What is wrong with me? Why do I chase the red flags like they hold the vile of life? Why am I attracted to the ones that hurt me even when that isn't their intentions? Why am I so ******* stupid?  Why do I keep trying? Why can't the higher power just take me already? Why do I always have to suffer? Why must there always be so much pain inside me? Can't I just be happy? Can't I just find my peace? I promised me I would stop running; but **** that's all I want to do! I want to run halfway into the trees and stop, just stop,  stop every single thing, stop moving, stop hurting, stop crying, stop  breathing, stop living, stop existing, just ******* stop all of it! Why to I have to keep trying and keep going and keep my head up? Why can't I just ******* stop?

He got ****** she did shrooms the last time he dumped her.  That she took a road trip to see her son n how many stops she made on the way to see people who know how to be unconditional without involving *** n trivial nonsence... he was full of childish and dumb ****. He forses his imagination and pessimism to become reality by manifesting it in his actions until his self proclaimed predoomed assumption of failure becomes his self made truth. She doesn't understand why he chooses to live life in self pitty, jealousy, and rage. He doesn't see the diamond before  him for what she is worth; he just tosses her away as tho she was nothing more than a sand stone. She has no choice but to stand tall and move forward.  The walls around her heart get taller and thicker. She is done. She knows now that she is the only person she has in this world and no way in hell is she gunna give up on her. She is a godess with an immense heart n she's strong as they come. She's got this, she's got her, she doesn't need anyone else.

It's dark inside so he would never see
what they could truly be
He loved her that much is true but how to show her he never really knew
His venom for his past fueled his rage
He only wanted her when she was locked in his cage
She refused to give up or let it tear her apart
Now he'll never find a more devoted heart
He pushed her away and ***** her smile
Now he's left to his self destructive exile
She took her leave to salvage her life
Tho she'd have loved nothing more than to be his wife
He wont believe she could have been his dream
Now in his head is an endless  yet soundless scream
Why must he destroy all that he loves  most
Why do they all become a memory, a ghost
He knows deep down he is wrong
He should have held on all along
But his demons in side rule his mind
So he is cruel, unable to be kind
He lost the best thing to happen to him
Threw it all away on a stupid drunk whim
She wins in the end of it  after all
Losing someone who's heart is too **** small.
It hurts like hell but she won't shed a tear
Even though her arms ache for him to be near
He has done this to them with no real reason why
Never even had the audacity to explain or try
He foresaw failure before giving it a chance
But that's now all pomp and  circumstance
He wont talk to her nor say goodbye
Maybe one day she'll find her perfect way to fly

I was drowning. I watched as you looked right at me, turned your back, and walked away. I died alittle right there!

You always here about how it takes a strong man to love a broken woman; but how about that strong woman loving that broken man, or when two broken people are strong enough to love each other. I believe the two broken ones will make it further because they can empathize what the other is going through and learn how to help heal each other together.

I died today all alone
I died today and no one cared
I died today everyone went on with their lives
I died today no one even noticed
I died today and everyone seems a little bit happier
I died today there's no heaven or hell
I died today and I'm just as alone as I was in life

Why do I always feel betrayal by those I choose to love. Why must everyone lie to me. Why can I roll my car the way I did and survive. I want to ******* die. Am I already dead and in hell, is this my hell to keep trying n then fail time after time. Well **** that. I'm done trying. I give up. I'm just going to exist. I'd stop existing  except I fail at that every time I've tried.