Jealousy finds me
Easier than most

But I am loyal
To the very end

And I might have
Paranoia of you liking others

It's just that I don't want
To lose you

Yes, I don't show my
Jealousy or paranoia
I keep it on the inside
So to not upset you

I'm sorry for not always
Talking of my feelings
I just don't want to loose you
Because I'm crazy

I've been good and working hard
Doing my best to get noticed for the right reasons
There's a ******* my mind
We are both goal oriented
I've been focused and ambitious
Id like to do more for myself and other benefit
Lots of of ideas bouncing around
Id like to make them a reality
Instead of asking what if
As of late I've been asking how
Id like everyone to be happy but that's on them
In over lowering myself to be accepted
Majority of the time I'm rejected
Being sober and straight edge
I like to read use my mind not let tv influence my reality
Writing is my expression so I could be heard and understood
I'm hooked on good vibes not fueled by negativity
Avoiding ppl who don't understand
Praying to be understood

i'm pretty sure
this is one of
the wisest pieces
of advice
i've seen

well meaning, anyway.

i walk alone
and it's a strange thing

every single time
i begin walking
i have an intense urge
to bust a move
and dance to the
music in my ears

but that would be
like feeding the animals

so i don't do it.

i am suspicious
when i walk alone
so i am constantly glancing
behind me
preparing to fight

in my mind
i am a fantastic fighter
my body moves
in deadly arcs
i can turn
anything
into a weapon
and i will
d r o p
any fool that
comes near me

i am an animal.
i shouldn't be fed
with crazy daydreams
but i keep. getting. fed.
and once i've been fed
i just want to eat more

the desire is overwhelming.

every few days
i consider taking up
a new hobby
like smoking,
or a destructive
non-committal attitude

but i always decide
not to feed
this animal
anything

but words.

To whom it may concern

thank you
for making me love numbers
for being the inspiration to my poems
for shaping a stronger me
for making me love Foster The People
for sharing the same passion
for introducing me to new stuffs

for telling that i can do anything
and making me believe it
and finally be able to do it

for the last-minute words of encouragement
for the endless care you’ve shown
for the friendship you’ve offered

for the time you’ve spent
or  probably wasted

for letting me know your family
letting me love them

for the priceless memories
the good and the bad

for being a hero, a guardian angel and a lover

.

.

though a sky of gratitude
will never match,
thank you

from the times when we lost the ball over the hedge
and had to ask for teacher's approval
past the days sneaking onto the farm
performing hay bale removal
running away from angry farmers
and school dances
those moments you heart catches
in your throat
before you ask
you wanna dance or something?
from the times your heart rate was thumping
from this sinking ship we're all jumping
first drink is never the last
everything is so rosy when we are looking back
pained goodbyes
and times spent laughing
flying across the world
to the sound of dull clapping
new weather new school new friends
torn pages and books that don't end
public school and private
mountains we haven't climbed yet
and a new set of smiles
fading all the while
while we become someone we haven't yet met
try hard not to get scared and jet set
changes and pretty girls
all alone in the world
just like everybody else
the book shelves
we never built
and the schools we never graduated from
we all put these lyrics in our songs
cracked bongs and braces
all to say I loved you if you ever loved me
we turn the pages so fast
that we lose some moments
but others are burned into our eyes
like the stage lights which burned so bright
even when the pictures fades to sepia
or black and white
we have blank leaves left to leave behind
and the camera around our necks is only so heavy
because it's full of film
so crack a smile
and grab a friend
family
lover
stranger
enemy
and show your good side
and scream cheese
from the top of your lungs