I lie beside you
But feel oceans apart

- disconnected

I heard you left this earth recently
They told me it was out of your control

I mourn the loss of a fiery soul
As the world continues
Mine has stopped
to cry for you
and the impact you left on me

Your mysteriousness intrigues me
I’m drawn to your darkness
as it intertwines with mine  
  
a gentle slow dance
has led to
an agreement signed

Our lips sealed
with secrets
only we know

But I am still searching for answers
to questions
I never thought
would come to mind…

I’ll tease you with my shadow
Arouse you in the dark
You’ll always be craving more
from me

Come closer…

Let me drown your pain
With my body.

There’s a devilish side to you
And it dances with mine

I welcome it.

We’ve been down this path
And the outcome will always be the same
Whatever we could have had…
We lost…
Just by being ourselves.

What could become fruitful
of this seed we’ve planted?

I hide behind my strength like a shield
Tears pour down my face out of pain
As I continue to move on.

I don’t have a clear understanding
of why
But the only thing
I can decipher is that

I can handle it.

I’ve been soaking in the after glow
Of watching magic unfold

Through the hearts of others

I lie awake tonight
While you sleep peacefully next to me
And I can’t help but think
How perfect you are

You chisel away at my walls
And I breathe easier knowing
That you see me for who I am.

I wish chastity could keep me from you
There’s something about being a sinner
When you’re around.

I fall in love with strangers
Admiring them as they are

My heart overfills with enjoyment
And I don’t know where to pour it all.

I feel as if I’m an imposter
Like I’m some sort of actor
but one undeserving
of an award

My role right now is routine and mundane
I am consistent in that at least.

However, every once in a while…
I’m drawn to the outside
the unknown.

I call on my demons
to play with me

Lead me with a dance
into a euphoria
that I cannot express with words further.

I am tangled in your aura
Like some web of seduction

Drawn to your poison,
I’ll risk it all
For the mystery
of you.

Within me is a flame that’s been ignited  
If I step too close I’ll get burned…
But this is an intricate fire
I’ve been wanting to play with…
A hunger I have yet to satisfy…

A danger I crave.

Let me enjoy you from afar.
Before things become too real.
Let me admire you
like the work of art you are.

I stay up late in the night...
In hopes the darkness
will devour me

And transform all that I am

Into all that I will be.

I am torn between two worlds…
One of fantasy and one of reality.

The artist in me is inspired
The lover in me is alone

And yet in the midst of chaos
I feel so calm…

But I was born into anarchy.
I find peace
when I can feel everything.

Even if it means all at once.

My sins are written in cursive
inside a book delicately placed

Under a blanket of soil and flowers
Where I leave you with no trace

Of all the things I’ve done
and the grief that comes with it

The pen has run out of ink
And my mind is sick of this.

Your words have stained my mind.
But I’ll leave it *****…

I don’t want to clean this mess up yet.
I’m aroused with you(r)
enticing and disastrous nature.

It feels so good to be bad sometimes,
doesn’t it?

Drunk in the moment…
Play with me in silence.
As I surrender myself to you.

Just a taste…
That’s all it took

For you to consume me.

I grow more curious
with the thought of you.

A deepening desire
to understand you
Is haunting me…

I want to know you.
I want to feel you.  

Your magic has cast a spell upon me.

I’ve been sipping on your words like wine
Extracting every delicious flavor
and component

The enjoyment
in what seems like a simple act.

But warms my body and mind
in ways I’ve never felt before.

I leave you with your own imagination
Your hands create magic I have not seen.

But I am curious...

What will become
of this little indie film you're writing?

You dangle yourself in front of me
With a smile that’s almost devilish
I sin at the thought of you.

Why does this ignite a flame within me?

There's a certain feeling I get when you miss me...
It's sinister and almost evil
Devilish is my ego that continues to feed on your what ifs.
I'll dance in the rain the of your tears
The what could have beens...
You'll wonder why I wasn't the one.
I'll smile knowing it wasn't meant to be.

For a slight moment in time...
You had me fooled
But I won't forget what you taught me

I've remembered how powerful I am.
And I choose to move on despite the challenges.

I feel you in the shadows...
Peeking ever so gently,
hoping not to disturb me.

As I move on,
From Us.

Who are you?
And who am I?

The night glistens with possibilities that could have been.

Where did it all begin and end?

Between us.

It was fast at the start
And as we slowed down...
The roots began to dig into the dirt.
Something grew over time

And here we were,
new to this
with a familiar feeling we carried
all along

At once I push myself further.
The days become weeks of chiseling away unwanted pieces.
Creating scars that crack deep within.
But worth it.
Even if pain stays.
I will keep working.

I miss you like the desert misses rain.
A love with a bitter sweet ending.

Can we begin again?
I hope so.

Why do I always search for the love I need to give myself?

Take me back to the swing set.
Where we first had dreams of who we'd be.

I was delusional and out of sink
to think that someone like you,

liked me.

But I ran with it.
All through the flower fields of adolescence.

Retracing steps to the place I called home.
Where I thought nothing could harm me.
Like you did.

It's too light out to be thinking this dark...

The full moon gleams in all it's glory tonight.

Even the clouds are awake.
The stars blanket around the ideas of who we are...
They whisper of our success.

I'm trapped in a maze I've created myself.
But the moon will guide me home.

Alone.
But here.

And there is no stopping me from shining.

My mind is full of curiousity...
For this new adventure ahead.

And you.

I wonder what your dreams are...
And how much of the world you have left to see...

Does your heart hold an anchor with a chain?
Or do you sail across yourself freely?

Are you willing to plunge into the depths of yourself and see every ounce of your existence?

Are you willing to see mine?

I don't know where my heart is going to take me...
But I'm listening...

Even more so than before.

I have shed a dead skin.
A chapter closed with a kiss...

The journey continues onward.
There's no stopping me now.

Believing in myself feels new.
But I am willing to risk whatever it takes...

For me to see it all.

Be strong...
Even when you feel the weight of the world.

The light shines within you.

Search deeply.

What I am right now
is a work in progress

I do not live for your results
I live for mine

And with every darkening hour
The light still peeks in

I  am willing to keep moving through the night
There is no need for sleep

When reality has become sweeter than my dreams.

I appear on the scene once more
But I don't want to be in the background on this one.

I feel like a star in middle of shining.
My shadow has become a cape I wear proudly.

This is who I am.

And who I am meant to be...

Has yet to be discovered,
adventures yet to be lived.

So I don't ask you for your hand...
I don't ask you for your time...

I ask because I'm a curious mind.

The trees have been blushing this time around...
As I've packed my things and moved on.

Although it only feels like yesterday,
when the waves came crashing down...

I still feel the transition in full motion.

It's been taking a while for this new form of pain to sink in.
Another scar, allowed to stay.

I don't know how I find myself looping around the darkness so easily.

Lighting up the night as if it's mine.

I'm scattered across the board...
But I will regain my composure.

At some point.

I am the sunrise
And like The Sun, I shine for everyone.
The work I’m putting in may go unnoticed...

But there will be greatness shining throughout me. And everyone will pay attention.

I dance with the night like my shadow plays in the day. I’m in the midst of creating something beautiful.

I do not fear the road before me...

Nor do I look behind.

I’ve seen storms of anguish and terror
I feel pain from wounds still not healing right.

The darkness no longer lingers...
as much as I thought it would.

And yet every ounce of my being...
Is still searching for the good.

Our spirits are floating onward
Detaching at the seams

Our journeys have brought us closer
But now it’s time to leave

We bare scars from others love
Mine and yours is differently seen

Although we are going alone,

You’ll always be part of me.

I’ve been fighting monsters
Darker than the sea

I’ve been moving mountains
I’ve been moving trees

Our love has ended abruptly
Shorter than we agreed
And now I must move on

Only looking out for me

I've stepped back for a moment...
To let it all sink in.
Walls still falling, but at a slower pace.

I do not wish to rebuild them.

I am searching for myself through the fog.
As hard as that may seem.

Lost are the parts of me I wish to find again.
The magic has faded.

I will strengthen it again.
I will begin again.

The stars aligned just right
and when our eyes met,
it felt like we've always known what this is.

What we are here for.

Don't ask me how I know...
It's something I cannot explain fully myself.

When the lights turn off I still see orbs.

You channeled me from within.
And here I am.

What purpose do I serve you?
And what will you serve me in return?


A mystery...

Is it willing to unfold?


Are we choosing to retrace our steps back to where we came from?
Am I deciding to resurrect something I still don't understand?
Or am I starting to understand it?

You've gained something in this existence.
Don't let fear stop you now.

Keep pushing longer.
Keep working harder...

And everything will be how it should.

You are love in all forms...
And with stars for eyes;
I pray that you can guide yourself
to the most beautiful existence.

- The Universe

The questions kept coming...
Like my mind was a glass filling with water.

I could drown or swim...

To sink or to sail?

I have chosen to hold my breath...
To force myself to the surface.

To force myself back into existence.

I am the only one who can save me.

I feel weightless...

The skies know too well.
A star far from home.
But I am shining brighter each day.

Because I want this.
I want all of it.

Most times you will find me silent.
Unwilling to put the thoughts into sentences.
But I promise you;
I will return.

Step by step,
Piece by piece,
We will examine each one on it's own.

We'll lighten the darkness a little,
And make it a more pleasant view.

Imagination I leave for you to decide what to do with.

How simple it seems to be

With you.

The days fade out gently.
And I'm sipping on your energy tonight.
It glows brightly.
Like the stars.