With every tear shed...
I leave behind the remains of a shattered heart.

And though it may still feel like a freshly cut wound...
I gather myself the best I can.
Every moment spent feels wasted.

All for nothing.

You've left a sour taste in my mouth.
And I've yet to remember what sweetness is.

Maybe I'm not who I used to be.

And maybe you're not either.

So we've made it this far.

There's no turning back now.
Everything that ever was...
Is now behind us.

And now, I leave you.
To walk your own path.
While I discover mine.

Nameless people pass me.
And in the crowd of blurring faces...
I search for you.

I know you're out there.
Somewhere.

And I just want you to know I'm here.

This bed is too big.
And I can't help but feel lonely.

Because deep down, the wounds are freshly scarring.

I fight the urge to look.

Sleepless nights have become routine.
My mind races my heart constantly.

So I lie here wondering where you are...
Whoever you are...

Hoping that you're out there...
Wondering where I am too.

Speak to me the way you used to.
With that slight bit of sarcasm on the tip of your tongue.

I'll listen.
I promise.

Things are weird right now...
And we've yet to find that common ground
between our love and our broken hearts.

I've made mistakes I can't fix.
So I lie here next to the phone...
Hoping that you'll keep telling me to come home.
And one of these times...
I will.

For now I'm stuck staring at two doors.
The one behind me and the one in front of me.

Do I open up the door that you are standing on the other side of?
Or do I unlock the one in front of me?

In either situation...
I need to put on a brave face.

Because behind both closed doors, I am scared.

I'm scared that you'll lock the door this time.
Even though I was the one who gave you back the key.

I'm scared that it might be the same old chapter reread over again.
That there will be just as much heart ache to share.

But what if I knock this time?
We can't forget the mistakes we've made.
But maybe we could overcome them and pick up where we left off.

The confusion is so real I find it unbearable.
Flooding my mind with 'what ifs'.
I can't ever sleep anymore.

I know I'm making you more confused than you already were...
I just hope you'll understand even when I know I can't explain.

For the first time in a long time...
I heard your voice.
It sounded so familiar.
But still so new.

As words were exchanged...
I couldn't help but feel that it was just like old times.

Where you would call in the middle of the night when neither of us could sleep.

And we would lie in our beds with smiles on our faces.
Because we both knew something was there.

Maybe we didn't give each other enough time.
Maybe it was just the way things were...

But all those bad times I don't look back on.
Just the good ones.

Like dinners at midnight.
Or hot baths we relaxed in.

There was something.
We were something.

And in the end when I saw it coming...
Though it was a surprise to you...
I left with tears in my eyes.

Not just because my heart was hurting.
But because what we had was something special.

Now I just have memories.
I didn't want to love you again.
Because it hurts too much.
Just like it did the last time.