And I am
so sorry
For loving you
as much as I did
It's just that
You were the only constant
In my ever-changing life
And no matter how hard
I pushed you away,
For some reason,
You were still there

Hot coffee
Cigarette buts
Sugar cubes
Plastic cups
Lay there
Beside us

As - I got high on her lips
She - ran her fingers through my hair
Left - me more alive than ever.

We were breathing
As slow as we could
Hoping to slow
Time down with us
Hoping to be
There forever

As - long as we stayed
She - forgot about the world
Left - *me more loved than ever.

Hands tied
Blind folded
And in pain
He sat there
As she explained
Explained to him
The rules of the game

“Every day I’ll cut off one of your fingers,
And you’ll count back
From one thousand by sevens.”
Going through her drawer
Of clampers and tweezers and scissors
She said
“Now let us, rehearse?”

She took out one of her knives
And oh so calmly
Chopped off one of his fingers
Asked “What’s one thousand minus seven?”
He couldn’t hear her over his own scream
She asked again
“What’s one thousand minus seven?”

“Nine hundred…nine hundred and ninety three.”
“Good! It isn’t that hard you see?
Now I’ll be back tomorrow
Oh, and this is just an experiment
In ten days, we’ll see what you become.”
He sat there crying in agony
Wishing tomorrow never comes

But it did, and he counted
“Nine hundred eighty six.”
“Do you know why I’m making you count?
It’s a trick.
I’ll tell you about it in the end.
Don’t bother trying to figure it out, you won’t.
So just keep counting till then.”

Days went by
And he was counting
“Nine seventy nine.” “Nine seventy two.”
As he was screaming and shouting
He lost all hope of freedom
At “Nine sixty five.”
Now the only freedom for him, was to die.

After ten long days
He finally knew what it was about
At “Nine hundred and thirty.”
She finally let it out
Unashamed as she explained
*“You see?”
It was all just to keep you sane."

Is growing up realizing that the monster is not under your bed,  but is instead lying right next to you?

Break free from the past don't let it define you, dive head first into your dreams let destiny define you.