She is a dog.                   She is my sister
Your half sister.             We share our trauma
She bites.                        She was neglected
She barks.                       It’s not her fault
She’s dangerous.           Her owner is dangerous
I hate her.                        I love her
She pees on my bed.     My dad locks her in my old room
We are so different.        We are so similar
So far apart.                     So very connected

The voices inside of my head,
They do not want me to live.
They say that I am better off dead.
I do trust the voices inside of my head.

They scream when they need to,
And shout when they must.
They tell me all I am,
Is desired for lust.

I can't take the pain,
I can't do it on my own,
Hearing those words,
Makes me want to be alone.

But I found love,
A love I want to keep,
But will it turn out like the rest,
With me left to weep?

Crying in my room,
Crying in the hall,
Crying in the mirror,
Crying tears for all.

All the heartbreak,
All the sadness,
All the loneliness,
All the pain.
Everything that was caused by,
All of love's feign.

The voices inside of my head,
They tell me I'll never find love.
They say I am better off dead.
I do trust the voices inside of my head.

shut your MOUTH
and let me speak
because when you SPEAK
I can't think
When you THINK
you don't filter
and when you don't FILTER
your words hurt
and when you HURT
you don't care
when you don't CARE
I want to die.

It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived