I crave
some new mistake
so you can see
i still need you
because
it seems we’re not through
if you think
you can fix
this
we can repent
but we know our sins
just please
please remind me
because
i thought
the caged bird sings

Somedays you just feel
like a puddle of ****
and you understand
why it's so hard
to meet someone
other days
you are a gladiator
and it's just as hard
but more confusing
i can’t decide
which is worse

No matter what happens
It's always life
And life is best lived
With eyes open

On the dampest days,

I miss you enough to fabricate you.

Years worth of my heart’s energy invested into the study of making matter,

Of bringing it across an ocean

to reassemble near the maples and the bush

and on paper and cards, across a board of letters we catch up and play and paint,

just the same.

Your pretend interest
does not go unnoticed
I feel your hesitation as we speak
I know you're simply agreeing
Just nodding your head
Half in acknowledgement
And half as an urging to move on
It bothers me at times
I feel like we aren't engaging
But then I realize
I do the same when you talk
About that "***** in class"
And you're really in the wrong
Or some new clothes you want
Truly
I love nothing more than when we talk
with each other
But sometimes we're going to talk
At each other
And I think that's ok
Feigned interest can be
as much an act of love
As it is an act of dismissal
And we're both still here, listening
So I'll choose to believe
It is the former

I'm really trying
Honest
To stick to my guns
And not let
My heart get out
Of my hand
But like some child
Urging me to play in the rain
Your simple elegance
compels me
To accept the downpour
Weathering into a puddle
At your feet
I look up
I am the child
And I just want you
To hold the hand
Where my heart used to be
And not let go

I shall learn her language then
And walk among her lands as an equal
I will educate myself
In the subtle longings of her body
The requests of her heart
She is a field of poppies
And
I'm growing tired
Of this wanderlust