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a smol bean Apr 2020
i hate what you do to me
i'm looking up at the stars right now
and it feels like you're staring back
i can feel you near, but it's not enough
i want you here
and safe on the ground
i want you back


i begged you not to
and you still did
you left me here, empty
and i know it's too late
i know

i wonder what you'd say to me
if you had the chance to talk to me for the last time.

i wish i couldve stopped you
and i love you so much.
a smol bean May 2019
these are the last pages
before it's all gone
these are the last pages
ending what is wrong
these are my last words
these cords wrap around me
before I can't tell you
that we aren't meant to be
this has been in my drafts for super long agh
a smol bean Jul 2018
the blood moon shines bright tonight
it casts a red shadow in my window.
this is my first time doing an all nighter,
and I feel it's a sign.
the stars align
i open my blinds
and all i see is the sun coming up
i ignored the time
spent all my time
looking at the stars
and not seeing what was really in front of me.
i feel different
merely a difference
but still, maybe something
like something churning
inside of me.
idk anymore but im not tired i feel kinda refreshed
a smol bean Jul 2018
I always tell myself that tomorrow will be a better day
but will tomorrow be when the pain goes away?
or will I be able to feel ok?
will the skies in my mind finally not be gray?
idk lol
a smol bean Jul 2018
why'd you have to make me feel the way I do?
no matter what I cannot escape the grasp of you

Ive lost all contact to my brain
and lost all feeling of the pain

all I used to do was sit there crying
hiding from the bullets flying

feeling like my heart got ripped out of my chest
feeling like I couldn't make it through the rest

I was useless, sitting there waiting for a change
but that wouldn't ever stop the pain

why am i numb now? well im one to say
you cant wait for the pain to go away
you get used to it.

a smol bean Jun 2018
thoughts spread like wildfires
shedding light to deep desires
staying put right where you are
not yet reaching for the stars.
since its summer, you guys get to enjoy these weird things i write at 3 o'clock in the morning.
  Feb 2018 a smol bean
I wish to kiss your lips a million times
I want to hold you close and call you mine
I wish I could dive into a sea of your love that was of so kind
But you are gone,
Just before Valentines
Do I still love you?
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