This one is different
I promise
He said he thinks about
Me
Long term

This one is different
I swear
You’d be surprised
The romantic way
He treats me
Like a human being

This one is different
I know I’ve said that before
But please
This time
You’ll listen right
Because
This one is different

Tired of being used
For parts to fill
Yourself with
Use up until
You feel whole
Taking pieces of me
Taking pieces of me
Empty
Every time you leave me

I don’t owe
Anyone
Anything

I don’t owe
Anyone
Anything

Every expectation sits on all ten finger tips
how do you even
grab
one

I wouldnt live any life without, you , my boy.

I carefully shaped your gentle eyes, and your tiny nose.

I use to lie awake in the night, playing my favorite songs, wondering what kind of human you would grow to be.

It feels as if there were, no life before your little light in my life.

My eyes have changed, small things matter now, my heart is full of small pieces.

I've never known such warmth,

Such love, love, love.

Hear ye
Hear ye
Two sham marriages
Instead of one happy one

Is that you
Calling me from
Unknown numbers

Or am I dreaming

And you
Like the dawn
Never last for long
But I wait up in the morning
To see orange glaze
Before you dissipate
Into day
Into night

She fell in love with someone else on my birthday.

He cried about it to me later that weekend

And I cried because he had fallen in love with her

Happy birthday

Happy exsistence

Right people
Wrong place
Wrong time
Wrong universe
But I love you
Still

And
If you are reading these
Why don’t you just call me
I miss you

Today I don't want to open my eyes
But I do
And the world still remains the same as if I never had

Sometimes
I forget
I forget who I am

What I want
What I like

Will I ever
See you again?
I whispered in my dream
After death,
And another life
But not until then,
You sighed

Pick up the phone
Call me
Please

I miss you

I dreamt about you
I looked at you
And said
I don’t care what it takes
I just want to be happy
With you

So righteous are you
Pointing your divine finger
That you selfishly avoided
Your very own mirror

And so distracted
you will fall into the flames
You apparently so fear
For others

Everyone is equal here
In the eyes
Of our god.

I crave the security
In the foundation never placed
Here’s your hard hat kid
And your concrete
Do it all yourself
Lay it all yourself

I crave security

What do you say,
Till tomorrow in Paris,
But tomorrow never comes,
Grammar lessons were wrong,
Not ever sentence has a period,
Some people are like songs,
They are here,
We enjoy them,
We try to interpret,
It ends the same way every time,
They don’t continue on and on,

I will miss you my friend.

Because I’ll never get to do
Anything I want
In this life
I need to know
There will be a new one
Just have to make it through this one
Make it through this one
Make it through this one
And then maybe if I have bled enough
And maybe if I cried
And I sweat enough
And I’m alone enough
Maybe this new one will be
Better
Just have to
Make it through this one

Please god
Tell me
Is reincarnation real

I love you
I love you
Where ever you are
In your car
In your bed
Kissing your girl goodnight
I love you
And I wish
That it was us
You and me
Me and you

Here I say
And I hand you the loaded gun
You promise you’ll never pull the trigger
But as soon as you can blink
We are fighting
You don’t even think
Boom
The gun goes off

I have the will to live
Every 2 weeks
Then I spend the rest of my time
Wishing it would end

Woman
Mother
Daughter
Wife

Pictures play
For each word
A box is created
Without hesitation

Jam yourself in it
Make them all smile

Look at me,

You didnt expect me to be more vicious than you

I am an animal

It's probably better than you keep

Distance

I'll let you go this time

To save you

Mortal wounds.

I love you baby
I love you
As long as the longest day
As big as space
Growing and changing
Expanding in new ways

I love you even when you are far away
I close my eyes
And I love you
I love you so much

I still love you
Stupid

I’m the same artist
In every different stanza
You see different people
Different women
But we are all the same

I was ready to be done now
And I never wanted to be ready again
Ready to be ready
And not done
I’m tired of them
Putting their hands
And words all over me
I’d rather be alone
They take up my time
To be free

It’s sunday
I still miss you
I keep waiting for it
To go away

I wish I loved you less
And I loved
me
more
I wish I loved myself the way
I loved you
Or I loved anyone else
I wish I could
Do that

Oh,
How I miss being
Near you

I’ll always love you
Goodbye
I’ll see you when we’re old
And our kids are grown
Well catch up
And I’ll still love you then

I just want to know
Why I wait
Wait wait
In this life
Too

I wish I couldnt tell
When people
Were telling
The Truth.

It doesnt matter who I want to be
I dont want to be me.

So it goes
The same song
Repeating
Repeating
Repeating
In my head

I forget it
I forget you
White noise

My dad and I
We may never speak
And
When he dies
I might not even be invited to the funeral,
I might not even be listed under one of his children under "survived by",
I may never get closure,
Or the answers I wanted

I will never know why he walked my sister down the aisle, but he skipped my wedding.
I will never know why he takes pictures, saying "all my grandchildren", but my son is missing.
I will never know if he cared as much as I did about these things, if he swallowed the silence.
Is he bad at his core? I might never know.

My dad and I
We may never speak
He might die
And I might never know him.

Why is it so hard to swallow?

Since I have left
I have been to Oregon
I have been to Colorado
I have been to Florida
And New York

Why did you keep me inside

Most days I sit somewhere
Between
Thinking about tying a rope
Around my ceiling fan
And then
Being greatful for the
Love
I get to experience as
Your mother because
I live this life
But I make sure
You never know the first part

You are strong
And yes,
you feel weak right now

But, you are strong
Nothing will wear you down

I cant love you anymore
And I dont think you would
Come back
This time if I stopped you
You still havent recovered
From my staggering wave
Of childish revenge

And I'm so sorry that I loved you so much
It turned me into something viscous

I am sitting in traffic
And I’m wondering
Is it immature to wish
There is some universe where I got
One over on you
Where I called the lawyers first
Where I didn’t lose my job
One where Gabriel and I
Move to Colorado
And I don’t have to answer to you

I dont care what time you come home tonight

Or if you call me

My heart knows that you

Lie

Lie

Lie

You are a liar

Memories moving
Like movies
Flipping fervently
Trying to
Find you

Just another day
Kick back
Wait six more months
And
We will be cool again

That’s usually this goes

Sylvia Plath Once said
Some things are hard to write about
And so when it comes to you
I put my pen down
On the tears that dry
On paper
Say enough
Because some things
Are hard to write about

Tell me what to say
When there is nothing
Left
To say

I am sick
I wish I had the answers
Actions speak louder
Than any words I could ever
Speak

I am a monster
A monster
A monster

I know things
I’m not stupid
I know that,
Two plus two is four,
The sky is blue,
I have two feet,
Ten fingers,
Ten toes,
I know that you,
You tell lies,
More than you tell the truth,
I know that about you,
So when you sit here and say,
It’s different this time,
Why would it change,
Something I know.
The sky is not purple.
I do not have fifteen fingers
And two toes
And you,
Hardly tell the truth,
I know that.

You say
You’re so much sometimes

And I say to that
Well sometimes,
You are not enough