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 Nov 2013 sinderella
xander
there he goes again
staring at the empty blue sky
and he think it's poetic
like the beat of her heart close to his ears
like the reflection of her shadow as he tried to capture it
but it's all empty like the blue sky

the beat is loud, perhaps much like the sound of his heart
he's waiting for it to rhyme
to make sense, like an ink blot on paper
the way it gives meaning to the vast emptiness
that cavity that seeks pleasure from pain
the ******* smiled from within

and the world closed in on him
the blue sky, the melodies on his ears
it screams of despair and hope
lust and love
life and death
his and her world
forever they are intertwined-
FOR-EVER-

!@#$%^&*()
 Nov 2013 sinderella
Erin Netizel
It is like silence
collapsing on you with the force of a black hole.
And it is very dark
and you feel so completely, utterly alone.

And far away, you can see the light of the stars.
You’d never doubt that they’re there, of course
you can even see them, just out of arms reach.
But for the life of you,
you don’t know how to get to them.

So you wait
and you bide your time
until you find a ship to sail you to the stars.
But until then,
you spend your time convincing yourself
that you don’t mind the dark.
You watch other people sailing over to the stars
on their own ships.
Maybe one day, one of them will stop for you.
But not yet.


And you just want to scream.
You want so badly to scream and cry and thrash about
within your little black hole
You want to grab the universe by it’s seams
and pull it apart and rip it to shreds and stomp on it
maybe if the anger’s enough, you’ll *** it up
and eat it
just because you can.

But your screams are lost to others.
In fact, they never even leave your little black hole.
They are simply crushed back into you
and they become dark and heavy
and begin to weigh on your heart.

So you watch,
with a growing blackness within you
at the others who reach the stars
and see the light, and feel the warmth.

But not you.
Maybe your ship will come someday
but not today.
So you sit in silence, and you wait.
A morose, forsaken cosmonaut
adrift, alone, in space.
 Nov 2013 sinderella
NitaAnn
I’ve been fighting. Fighting, struggling, and lashing out at the faceless, formless thing that chases me ever since I can remember. I’m so very angry now, tonight, all day, – technically a lifetime…whatever. Angry and tired, I sit with my hands on my knees and my head bent, rocking…weak but wishing to be strong; held captive but wishing to be free; alone and afraid, wishing for comfort and courage.

I am sad as hell and I have no one in real life to talk to because no one cares or understands and whatever I know that it’s my “fault” that I don’t have the support system in place when I am in dire need of it…which would be now. I know that I ****. Got. It. I am a bit on the ‘not-lucid’ side tonight and a wishing I was drunk! It is so hard to stay sober and I am starting to doubt the worth of it.

There is a part inside who has been researching how to die…quickly and painlessly. Last Friday it was an overdose of medication (I won’t say what med it was because it is now in the past and I don’t need some well-intended person yelling at me OH MY GOD THAT COULD **** YOU in all caps - sometimes we are still in quite a fragile state.) I write this because I feel like those of you who have been a part of this journey with me should know what’s going on. This is what’s going on: I do not feel better. I do not have a good support in place here. Shame. On. Us. We have not done a good job at getting this done. I have continued to pretend like everything is fine when there everything is so very un-fine. not-fine…so very opposite of fine.

I can’t cope with the frustration and invalidation tonight. I can’t cope with the screaming. I am not coping at all. I’ve tried. I can’t. I am struggling right now, tonight, to make it minute to minute. I’m not sure what I’m doing. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and I have no coach. And I do not feel better.
I thought I would try life in a bubble safe from the worlds trouble
I also thought the bubble would keep me from germs a double blessing
Life here in the bubble seemed to go at a slower pace
I'm here in the bubble away from the human race
I am protected from crime
I am enjoying time with me, myself and I
I am not watching the news no news is good news right
I am shut out from everyone
I wonder does anyone remember me anymore
I'm starting to feel claustrophobic stuck in the bubble
I did not mean to shut out the ones I love
I would scream but no one would hear me
I am isolated from everything and everyone except my thoughts
I am imprisoned by my thoughts
If you were near, you would hear me say burst this bubble and let me out
I want to live life again  
I want to breathe again, outside the bubble
She takes the broken pieces
of a prayer without a wing
and restores it to it's beauty
as to make the angels sing
no chapel holds a candle
to the stained glass of her soul
for she takes what once was broken
and with love she makes it whole
For 1796 an artist working in glass mosaics making broken beautiful.
I want to scream-sing a lullaby to your eyes
So that they may sleep & that I may sleep
& I know that it may be more jarring
Than a simple anesthetic or tranquilizer
But I like to think that the slumber is
More genuine that way.

I want to scream-sing a lullaby to your eyes
So that they retreat into their sockets
& are shocked
& need to form a plan of action
With which to retaliate
But then hopefully they get bored & fall asleep.

I want to scream-sing a lullaby to your eyes
So that they might think that I’m a cool guy
& then maybe in a few weeks or in the summer
Sometime we can cook burgers & hotdogs
& eat them & chat about our families
& laugh at only the worst jokes.

I want to scream-sing a lullaby to your eyes
So that they get tired of me screaming
& I get tired of me singing
& we can all be tired together.

I want to scream-sing a lullaby to your eyes
Because eyes can’t hear things.
& I like doing things that don’t make sense.
 Nov 2013 sinderella
J Marie
Paper and pen
Fill times between you.
With a pounding head,
For you, this I do.

Never have I felt
This kind of ill.
Heartache, headache,
Pill after pill.

After hours spent alone,
I need my dose.
My reason for tolerating:
Him, my only hope.

From sunrise to sundown,
I let only him tame.
May he ever be my love.
My Hero is his name.
 Nov 2013 sinderella
Marian
The beautiful leaves
Are turning color
It is Autumn now
Smoke twirls from chimneys
And bitter Autumn winds
Sting my face and hands
Leaves are falling down
And because of mighty winds
The trees are standing bare
Springtime birds are flying south
To escape the howling winds
And falling snowflakes

Birdies now with golden wing
Join the harp to sweetly sing
Over the meadow and in the skies
Oh how Autumn so quickly flies!
Weeks and days quickly pass
Enjoy Autumn while it lasts
Days quickly die
And years rapidly fly

*~Marian~
I know, this probably doesn't sound as good as some of my other poems,
but I hope you enjoy it anyway!!! :) ~~~~~<3
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