temporary lust
permanent
thoughts

could this be love?

it's not just that
it's the warm breath
you feel upon your neck
it's the hot feeling
you feel going through
your blood-pumping heart
it's the aftermath
of a night of shame
pleasure and pain
all of the above

well, not shame
just heaven
of the time
you hold
each other
close

adrenaline rush
is always the worst
because it leaves you
addicted to the fix
it keeps you in place
seeking the passion
that makes your heart race
seeking the heaven
in which you have found
in your sweetheart's love

sometimes i stand on the edge,
wishing i could feel my heart beating,
sometimes i would love to fall off a bridge,
in the hope you'd be the one rescuing.

there are not many reasons to hold on,
but you are definitely one of them,
you make me want to be strong,
you help me cope again and again.

your love is something I missed
the feeling can't be described
the stars in the sky
ain't nothing
compared to
how you shine

please
always
be mine

drinking wine on my own
writing as I carry along
making my way in this town
standing on fair ground
making no sound
just speaking through
my poems
cigarette smoke
is filling me up
from the inside
and out
feeling alright
as the night
slowly comes

you say all the right things
that seep into my veins
you say it's all changed
but we still feel the same
i never forgot your texts
the moments i spent
trying to get out
of my comfort zone
just so i could
be the one
that you love
and adore

i miss how it used to be
but i wouldn't change the past
because you stuck around
when i needed you the most
and that means the world to me

i love you so much
never leave my side
without you
my life is worthless
i need your love
in order to survive
i need you
in order to smile
i need you
in order to cope
with every day life
you make life seem
so very valuable
you make life seem
so very beautiful

two complicated people
one important friendship
something so mixed up
**** we can achieve
and retrieve
as well as
make it
bearable

express yourself
be proud of yourself
you're limited edition
you're one of a kind
you are your own
please be proud

no one is the same
we are all unique
from our bodies
to our names
from our hair
to our eyes

we are all
different
from
each
other
be proud
don't give a ****
if you wanna be you
let your uniqueness
shine through

we are not perfect
we are not robots
we are human beings
we were born with flaws
no person is complete
without the things
that make them
who they are
on the inside
and outside

chemistry, sparks
that's what i see
between both
of us

bubblegum heart
easy to pop
and if you
break it
you'll be stuck
in a sticky situation
a strange love
equation

that moment when
you know you have
found true love.

dressed in all black
to show some class
keep my front
covered up
but still
show off
my **** ***

high heels on
and some
red lipstick
hoping to
catch your attention

blue eyeshadow
white nail polish
hoping i'd look good
with all of this on me

sweet perfume
with a heavy
price tag
hoping to
smell like
roses
and
vanilla

a kiss means more to me
than he will ever know
feels so good on my lips
i adore moments like this
happier than i'll ever be
i truly hope he knows
and understands fully
that i adore his love
it's so pure
and heavenly

Spent the day inside
Because the city's cold
Yet it's only two
And I think of you
How you'd want me to live
I just wanna see you smile
Wish you were alive
My dear sunshine

if i knew years ago
that people would
hate me so much
i would have
done something
about my existence

depression is a numbing sensation
sadness is never-ending emotion
there's a difference between them
one is temporary and one is not
depression is permanent
it can fade away
it can ease up
but it will
never truly
disappear
or wake
you up

i miss you more
i always do
don't tell me
otherwise
because i will
disagree with you

Memories fall apart
Like an angel in the dark
(She's clinging onto life)

Memories cut you from inside
They bleed you out until you're dry
(Love kills people every night)

Such a lovely disaster
Nightmare, such a blunder
We used to be such lovers
Until we broke each other
And became perfect strangers

Take my heart,
I don't want it back

Take my love,
I'll get through it

Heartbreak shows us
Never love and never trust
(Unless you wanna die inside)

People will heal you
Then they'll leave you
(It's all a game, alright)

People will deceive you
Then wonder why
It's breaking you
They never care
Until they see you happier
With someone that isn't them
Only then, they'll want you near
Wanna know every detail

(No, go to hell and stay there)

attachment is worse
than the aftertaste
of a disgusting drink
like mixing ketchup
with mustard
such a bad mix
makes you
want to
throw
up

used to see nothing but you
every time i walked outside
used to think of nothing but you
whenever 'our song' played
used to write about you
but hell, still i do
because i miss you
and how it used to be
we were once side by side
now we're barely here at all
the day i got lost in your love
was the day i lost myself
my self-respect, my pride
you became my world
you became my earth
you became a part
of my tragic heart
changed my outlook
on how i saw life
gave me a reason
to always smile
you made me happy
happier than i had ever been
and i became dependant
on our connection
as a source of inspiration
to keep going
to keep believing
to keep myself
from falling
worst thing is
it's all changed
we aren't us
this isn't you
this isn't me
we aren't a team
like we used to be
and it hurts so much
because i thought
true love conquered all
but unfortunately
love was my downfall

fairytales were in books
until you appeared in my life

When I look at my sister
I see nothing but beauty
But when I look in the mirror
All I see is nothing but ugly

I'll never be more
Than what I am

I'll never be sure
Of what I see
I'll never like me

I feel so unattractive
I feel like my mirror
Is secretly laughing
And all my friends
Are secretly gasping
Wondering how
My mirror
Isn't already
Showing signs
Of cracking

my poetry isn't as great
or as articulate
as the others
on this site
but i write
from the heart
and if you relate
i'm thrilled with that
grateful, in fact
that i can touch
a stranger's heart
just from posting
what i feel inside

Confidence is barely present anymore, it was replaced with anxiety and panic attacks. The once secure and happy girl I was, she's nowhere to be found. She was last seen about five years ago, falling into a black hole of insecurity and fear. I became the person I swore I'd never be. I changed. Nothing about me is the same any longer, except my name perhaps. Never thought growing up would crush my lively spirit and squeeze the life out of me, like a lemon used to make a bitter glass of fresh lemonade. Growing up has its consequences. It makes you so much more aware of the chaos surrounding you, of the people you know, of the things you thought you knew so well. It gives you a taste of bittersweet truth, of reality and the dark parts of it all. You see the world like never before, and the insight gives you a glimpse of how things will be, later in life. As your emotions build up, your self-esteem lowers, and insecurities make a mess of you and ruins your outlook on everything, including life and love, you'll feel stressed, emotionally tired and life will never be the same.

wrote your name
all over my heart
tried to wash it away
but the ink left it's mark
like a tattoo i made
and it had no cost

i want to be the main role
in your beautiful heart
the main character
not a mistress
but an adored
lover
let me
win the part
the role of
a girl who
gave you
her world

i would do
almost anything
to be the one
who gains a ring
on my wedding finger
a fairytale romance
who spends the rest
of her beautiful life
experiencing a
real life
happily
ever after

sometimes when i write
i imagine being kissed
right in the middle of
something important
i daydream too much
of the same fantasy
but it keeps me
stuck in a trance
for a long amount
of blissful time
it touches
every part
of my heart
and also
creeps in
to my veins
as well as
my mind
and soul

i miss being 15
when i was me
when i felt pretty
when i was happy
when i was carefree
when life was in front
and my fears were at the back

past forward 6 years...
hello anxiety attacks
hello ana and the rest
goodbye happiness
hi sleepless nights
hello bottle in my sight
goodbye freedom of speech
hi insecurities
goodbye to feeling like me
hello to the society
who destroyed me
and all i was meant to be

i hate who i became
all that is the same
is my birth name