And it stings in the shower
Just the water running over
Let alone to wash it with soap
So you leave it alone
You tried to go around it before
But that only made it worse
And you can't wash above
Because it runs down into the cuts
So they notice the smudge
That was there yesterday
And didn't quite rub off

They wonder why
You don't take as long as you used to
And they notice that your body wash
Is still three quarters full
Even though you bought it six months ago
They wonder why then
If your soap is still full
And you don't shave in the shower
Why do you need more razors
When you just bought a pack
Not even a month ago

They noticed in summer
But now its winter so its okay
For you to wear long sleeve shirts everyday
You hid your t-shirts so you could tell them
That you had nothing else to wear
They noticed that you never went swimming
You sat on the beach or in the car
They begged you to come in
And said you lost your swimsuit again
Even though you knew exactly where it was
You just couldn't let them see your scars

They notice the smile on your face
But not the pain behind your eyes
And they don't care to see the fear
That they might find you out
Its easier for them to believe the lie
Than to face the truth
And help you
They would rather the easy way out
To live in ignorant bliss
Than to notice your scars and cuts
And ask you what was wrong

And eventually they stopped noticing
The no longer asked you
How your day went
They met your cries for help
With harsh words of get over it
And calling you an attention seeker
But that really is all you want
Is for someone to pay attention
To start noticing again
That you are not okay
And you can't just get over it

Too often do these things go unnoticed
Or they are mocked
As a cry for attention
And ignored as a call for help
Too soon do people end their lives
Because its easier for you
To live in ignorance
And not deal with it
They say ignorance is bliss
But it only is for you
Not for the people suffering everyday

So it is up to you and me
To break through the ignorance
And see the fear and pain in their eyes
Because if we don't say anything
Then they won't either
I know this because I've been there
And I still put on that mask
Because I was told to just get over it
But that only made it worse
The fact that I should be able to get over it
But I couldn't

So it is up to us
To see behind that mask
And ask someone if they are okay
To see the cuts and scars
And lend out a helping hand
Because if we don't then who will
We need to speak up for those too afraid
Of speaking for themselves
To make a point that it is not okay
Just to say get over it
And we need to start noticing

Sanity   within   sanity
Sanity   with   insanity
—
So   vain
So   vein

I think the hardest thing in this world
is holding on to words.
Words are heavier than any furniture, any weight you may lift.
Unsaid words cause everything to fall under their weight.
And it's so easy to lighten the load.
Just open your lips
"I'm sorry
I should have said
I love you.
I still love you. I'm sorry.
I should have said.
I'm sorry I love you."
Why is something that should be so easy so difficult.
Unsaid words make opening lips
like opening a safe
with locks from another world, and steel walls five feet thick.
Why can't I talk to you.
Why didn't I speak.
I'm sorry.
I thickened the walls of the safe tenfold
It's now guarded by locks whose combinations come from memories which never happened.
And the only way to open them would be to change the past
and I've watched television.
They make it seem easy.
But I know that in this world, memories that never happened are ones that never will
and even if I guessed the numbers
the locks would open a safe with words from a different time.
words no longer real, and no longer mine.