Your tear drops hit the floor like glass
and everything you loved has passed.
There's a new found ache in your heart,
and it gnaws and claws you apart.
You feel the new year has brought you dead ends,
and you're too tired from last year to pretend.
Fighting for this will they say you own,
but you're standing on the battlefield alone.
This day does not end in laughs and smiles,
no it ends in tests and trials.
Measuring the strength you've been forced to show,
you can't hide it anymore because now they know.
You saw God crying in the face of your enemies,
and that gave you strength to fight endlessly.
Anywhere you would've followed the horizon,
but now you can rest your head,
for now you're done.

I came into this life with no friends
so whats the purpose to make amends
if they had a purpose, they would of came in this world with me right?
****, friends at even with me every night.
where are they when it gets dark? cause thats when it usually peak
why aren't they in my mind, to help me find the light I seek
yea its great to have fun and sip on alcohol
but who does it hurt when I'm drunk and fall?
Why cant friends take away the pain I feel
do they know that I starve as a meal
they say friends come and go
but if you're going to go then don't come
cause you'll waiting on the street like a ***
a friend is just a fiend in disguise
drop the r and even you can see with your eyes
but our eyes are what made us see them in the first place
It's amazing what you can see with your eyes closed
Especially if you have a vision
Or how you could have everything
And still think about everything missing
Like I probably remember the times I missed out on
More than the ones I lived
I probably remember the haters that I did have
More than friends I did
Ya feel me?

Memories of us as the sun set fire to everything I touch.
Hands to myself and forget the idea of love.
Our light has dwindled out.
All that remains is a broken bulb
hanging above
the bed, in the attic of my head.
Scattered shards of glass surrounding comfort.
Every night I walk on our broken dreams and bleed before I get to sleep.
I just lay in the shadow of my past looking for lines you once said.
Only to bury the words again.
Maybe it would make more sense if I stopped resurrecting the dead.
There's a piece of me, no longer alive.
From me to you is a far drive.
So I dig in the dark attic for old and removable parts to repair my broken car. Flashing my lights at anyone who could be you.
Because you're the only one who can see it too.
Our connection is as consistent as me quitting bad habits
For instance, cigarettes, but how could I know when I still haven't?
I crave but can barely manage.
I'm on and off in strange patterns.  
A rusty pull chain hanging from the socket
Stuck with our questions to questions,  irrational logic.
I asked "why do you always escape from what you wanted?"
You slowly whispered "how else would you know if you really got it.".
I guess  I'll figure it as I smoke another cigarette.
I take a hit, before exhaling, i stare up at the sun.
Close my eyes and think of you.
I imagine the smoke soaking up everything I ever wanted to tell you.
Plans, ideas, thoughts, and the rawest feelings I have ever had.
Once it feels right I open my eyes to the empty sky and exhale.
An emotional release.
February air will condense these dreams on to your car window.
You will wipe them off to find your way home.
The last thing you said before you left, "Just keep thinking of me And We'll meet again"
There has to be another chapter before the end of this story being written in my head.
But love and love lost is the ink to my pen of thoughts.
Let it leak in my sleep. Knowing I'll wake up to her gone.
But its okay.
She left the chorus for my song.