sinderella: Favorites

Jan 2014 sinderella

Alex

I am living my life in a self-constructed hell. It's funny because, the world disagrees with me. It comes lumbering in all it's tremendous glory, shoving life down my throat and yelling:

"HERE! Here is beauty!"
"HERE! Here is love!"
"HERE! Here is the universe and you own it."

Sounds like "Here! Here is *******." to me.

It takes great sadistic pleasure in watching me suffer. I think God is a giant kid with a magnifying glass playing with his ants. The whole shape-able reality is a bogus ad created by a room of handsome ad execs in Satan's boardroom. He also sells stupefying cream you rub on your eyes to make you forget the bleary truth, the miserable facts. What did I expect from these liars?

I know.

Stupid me. I expected more than this.

More word *****.

Jan 2014 sinderella

Untitled

Jan 2014 sinderella

Alex

Untitled

No one truly knows,
the depth of suffering,
the painful passion,
the sinful indulgence
and all the ******, incomprehensible hard work
that goes into
writing.

you go, writers.

Jan 2014 sinderella

The Fall

Jan 2014 sinderella

Francisco DH

The Fall

And then I fell.

The taste of love's gravel
is bitter and hard
Mixed with the shards
Of my heart.

I have no recollection of when I fell
or when I landed on such hard reality.
I rather not know.

The fall has no words
to describe it.
It was quick
Like the click of a pen
Stabbing at a piece of paper
as you confess "L-O-V-E" with the ink
getting it all over your hands.
The flash of a camera
capturing the slight movement, movement
of your eyes shifting your gaze to his hands.
Like an on coming truck
Colliding with your advancements towards him
Scattering your emotions
leaving you dazed and afraid.
Like the last heartbeat your heart can muster
before it starts to flat-line
but to save yourself
your heart begins to beat for another.

I fell
But now it's time to get up.
The Fall is over.

Jan 2014 sinderella

Dear dad

Jan 2014 sinderella

Allison

Dear dad

It hurts knowing that I've never heard you say you loved me.
That you never were proud of me for anything I tried to do for you.
I was the one who always tried and give you credit when you would scream and yell for nothing
Making mom cry and hide.
You never taught us anything like a father should.
All I got out of you was knowing you hated your life and everything in it.
I never leave my room when your home cause all I get is yelled at
Consent name calling
You mumbling terrible words that you knew I could hear
I wish I had a father
Cause I don't know who you are
A man who live in my house that has no name.
I've given up on trying with you
Walking pass you at home and having no connection hurts
Cause I always wanted a dad I could talk to and laugh with
Call daddy
Feel like if I got hurt he would come to the rescue
and save the day
Guess I'll never know what it's like to have that
Cause after all you never put any affort into being a father to any of your children
Or a good husband
I think moms the only reason I stay
She more brave then anyone I know
I guess I win in having such a wonderful person to keep me going when it gets hard.
When you would yell and scream at me
She would try and make you turn to her so I wouldn't have to take it.
I guess that's why I took to the neighbors dad.
He was always the dad I never had.
Funny.
Good to talk to.
Happy, loved his kids.
I'm sorry that I wasn't a perfect child
I've made mistakes
But I've never told you that I've hated you
I've never said anything disrespectful to you like you have a thousand times to me
I don't think I ever will
Cause I guess I'm not like you
I don't put people down to feel good about myself
I won't never stand in my child's face and yell hurtful words until they couldnt see cause the tears would block out everything.
And I thank god I didn't turn into you
Thank god none of us did.

This was a hard one to write with out crying that's why it's so terrible. Eh.

Jan 2014 sinderella

Long Distance

Jan 2014 sinderella

Vernie Del Mundo

Long Distance

I don't think anyone else
Can miss someone
The way I miss you
But if they do,
I'll tell them

"Be strong.
Hold on.
He's worth it."

The saddest hours
Are when I'm asleep
And you're awake.

When I'm dreaming
And you're not.

The convincing myself
I'll see you soon,
Not knowing
When "soon" is.

The kissing your picture
Before going to bed,
hoping you'd feel
The coldness of
My chapped lips
That are in need
Of your non-smoking
Ones' warmth.

The praying,
The hoping
That the next time
I open my eyes,
I see you
Sleeping beside me
With your heavy arms
On my chest.
You may make
It harder to breathe,
But who needs air
When I have your
Scent to inhale?

Even the most
Annoying things;
Your snore.
That keeps
Me up all night.

You may not know this,
But you were my
Favorite part of
The day.

But sometimes,
When I open my eyes,
I see you.
Sleeping, snoring.
Right there.
Then in a blink away,
You're no longer there.

Jan 2014 sinderella

Orcus

Jan 2014 sinderella

Zachary

Orcus

i often think of death
at the hands of Galileo
a cluster of galaxies
pouring through his fingernails
and weaving his way
like a silk ribbon in the midst of a cotton dress

camouflage designed to keep you hidden
from the enemy across the cliff
but you can't hide from the other side
because the other side is inside of you
and they have their weapons
pointed directly at your weak chains

a galaxy formed inside of you
a white dwarf star that
collects energy over decades
pressed together into mere seconds
and it spills over the edges
like spilt wine on linen sheets

i've thought of death
at countless midnights
in the middle of hallways
in your arms
swaddled in the equivalent of a human burrito
at the mere peek of your face
out of the corner of my eye in
a place where there is no forgiveness

they always directed me
to one place
it was a safe haven of sorts
they took a mirage of an ocean far away
and on bad days,
implanted in the comfort of your solitude

on most days,
i fought silently and alone
on bad days,
i fought against something vicious
but alone

i've thought of killing myself
countless times
but the fools hope
always brought me back
and i learned to bury my anxieties
so only my most trusted comrades knew
the different between a shaky 'I'm fine'
and a shakier 'just tired'

it was like a ticket stub,
for a movie that wasn't even all that great
but you went anyway
because you wanted a distraction

and i would rather be dead-alive
than alive-dead

Jan 2014 sinderella

If I was a painter

Jan 2014 sinderella

Caroline

If I was a painter

If I was a painter, I would dip my fingers into your voice while you're laughing,
I would use the colours of your thoughts to paint the constellations I see whenever I look into your eyes on every brick wall of every ******* alley in this town.
I would paint the sun on your roof so even on cloudy days, when you can't bring your limbs to bring you out of bed you always have one to look at.
I would paint dresses on all your skeletons,
so you no longer have to hide them in the back corners of your closet like an old t-shirt you keep forgetting to get rid of.
I would paint butterflies on your bruises.
I would paint stars on your insecurities.
I would paint exclamation points on your vocal cords.
I am not a painter, but if I was, that is what I would paint.
-j.a