With each passing week the world gets heavier.
Knees start to buckle underneath all the pressure.
Lost in crazy thoughts of death and self-destruction.
Only here out of a sense of guilt and obligation
to my family.
Because they deserve to be happy,
and they deserve better.
And the last time I tried I couldn't pull the ******* trigger.
Coward.
I can't allow myself to leave my parents mourning
and so I sit and wait while the sand keeps on pouring.
I'm just turning pages until I finish the last chapter of this story.

It will be a life of loss isn't it my lover
And maybe an eternity before
I find what I'm looking for
Before I can tell you about
the ones who broke my heart
Before I can laugh all this pain away,

Im going to get lost and take another pill
just so I can
Feel a little bit normal once in my life
Or be loved by somebody for once
Then get drunk on happiness  

I'm going to keep  
Crying about why people say I never try
And feeling left out and patronized
And you know what's funny?
I can't tell you about any of this
Even when you ask
what's wrong with me
Cuz you won't understand
You're not flawed and strange like me

I'm going to be lonely
With my soul in a locker
And I'm going to have to blame it on
Myself
Isn't that right?