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maria Jul 2020
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You’re always telling me life is sadness
the world is hard
we are bound to suffer.

I’d like to hold and kiss you
Make it slightly better
Prove you wrong.
.
maria May 2020
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falling for you
is like wishing for rain on a sunny day
...
maria May 2020
...
this thing between us reminds me of silence
once something is said, it’ll no longer exist
...
maria Jun 2020
...
The night is quiet and I just want you to know,
I love you
Without expectations or hopes
Just that I love you
...
maria Jul 2020
...
I see two hummingbirds
Sweetly dancing together in the air
I wonder if they know what sadness is
That their joy is temporary
maria Apr 2020
I give, give, give
Nothing gives back
maria Jun 2020
it feels like I’m stuck in fast forward
like I can’t breathe
like everything is brighter
and louder
I can’t focus
I can’t imagine a time I don’t feel this way
I don’t feel like me
maria Apr 2020
I can’t stop the words from leaving my lips
but at the same time I can’t find the right words to say.
maria Apr 2020
you set something in me on fire
is it ***?
is it my soul?
is it my heart?

unsure, but I like it.
maria Jul 2020
when I’m filled by you,
I feel significantly less empty.
when I lay with you,
I feel significantly less alone.
maria Jul 2020
I used to kneel in church,
Bowed my head in reverence.
I can’t convince myself to believe anymore.
I wish I could.
I wonder if I’m searching for meaning elsewhere.
Maybe in myself.
I want others to kneel with me,
Bow their heads in reverence.
maria 4d
I broke and ended up initiating plans
It’s wise to not share space alone
Inside four walls, I wander
Almost forget who I am and
Run to the arms of another
I wonder if there will be a day
when you don’t cross my mind?
maria May 2020
it is tiring
fighting the urge to grab your hand
seeing the curve of your sweet mouth and not being able to meet it with mine
maria Nov 2020
I find myself not wanting to say goodbye.
Looking for ways to stay longer.
I can’t remember the last time I felt something just from fingers briefly touching.
I think I’d pass out if we shared anything more.
maria May 2020
in those moments before you close your eyes and drift to sleep?
when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal?
when you wash behind your knees in the shower?
when you button your shirt up to the collar?
when you quietly come?

I hope you do.
maria May 2020
I want to wrap myself up in you
Get lost in your body and have you get lost in mine.
maria Jun 2020
noun
“things that exist or are used or enjoyed for only a short time”

or in other words,

me.
maria Jul 2020
deleted implies that my words to you still exist somewhere.
found hidden between the white lies and rough drafts.
but to say that I’m erased from your thoughts,
that means persistent friction was applied to remove me.
that my feelings for you are gone.
maria Nov 2020
I see the world with such admiration and wonder. Imagine if I could save just a fraction of that love for myself?
maria Jun 2020
do you think of me?
in your wet dreams while you sleep?
you appear in mine.
maria Jun 2020
I wonder if you are watching me as intently as I’m watching you.
Your hands fidgeting.
I fight not to stop them
with mine.
We can hardly match eyes,
worried that it might stir too much.
Worried that we might ruin what we have with something more.
maria Dec 2020
I cannot understand why two halves make a whole. Yet, you and I don’t.

I cannot understand my cat wants kisses immediately after breaking my skin.

I cannot understand why I’m here and not falling down a hill.

I cannot understand why I have all the ingredients to make happiness yet it evades me.
maria Apr 2020
Than strangers that were once lovers.
maria May 2020
I don’t need sweet nothings whispered to me.
Or grand gestures and gifts.

I just need to hear three little words.
If you catch my drift.
maria Apr 2020
I want to be captivating
I want to be bright
I want to make you laugh
I want to bring tears to your eyes
I want to have something to offer

That doesn’t fade with time
maria Nov 2020
but I remind myself
You’re not mine
Never was
What’s really slipping away
Is the possibility of us
maria Oct 2020
the minute i leave you
maria Apr 2020
I could be yours
you could be mine
maria Jun 2020
Thinking someday I will cease to exist
A part of me wants to live forever
In the cloud
In your synapses
In your arms
maria Jul 2020
I’m just aware it won’t happen now
maria Apr 2020
it’s heartbreaking,
nothing is permanent.

on the bright side,
nothing is permanent
maria Jun 2020
that there are so many people who love each other but are too afraid to say something or make a move
that all that potential energy goes to waste
when it could become something much more
maria Aug 2020
to find what you weren’t even looking for.
I wonder if it’s rare, what we have.
no missed beats.
just a mutual agreement to leave things unsaid.
maria Jan 26
how long until I find another that will crack  me right open?
maria Oct 2020
What was the last thing I said to you before we went back to being strangers?
maria Jun 2020
If your pupils dilate when you see me.
If your palms get sweaty, your heart race increases.
Your smile breaks me right open.
I can’t stop staring at your mouth,
I can’t stop imagining your arms around me.
maria Jul 2020
I would write you handwritten love letters
Sing to you endless songs
Have your head rest on my chest
Wrap my legs around yours

Let you kiss my forehead
Move a strand of hair behind my ear
Kiss you soft
Then hard
Then soft again
maria Apr 2020
Let you hold me too
Place my hand on your cheek
Look into your eyes
Kiss you softly

And then stop there.
maria Jul 2020
don’t respond too soon
don’t dig deeper
don’t let yourself feel anything more
maria Apr 2020
I want you.
To whisper my name.
To run your fingers through my hair.
To kiss the nape of my neck.
To lick me off your lips.

To allow me to live in your thoughts forever.
maria Aug 2020
it’s not flashy and loud
it comes in like thunder
unexpected
but when it arrives
it can’t be ignored
maria Jun 2020
You have me off-kilter
I can’t wait to see you
I long to be alone with you
I know I’m playing with fire
I want to burn
new
maria Apr 2020
new
i feel like i know you and we've only just met.
i want to dive in deeper,
i want to let you see the dark and sad places in me.
to let you see the bright and shiny places too.
maria Apr 2020
sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to lie with another.

would I smell different?
would I breathe different?
would I sound different?
would I taste different?
would I feel different?

I only sometimes wonder though.
maria Jun 2020
It has been building up
I knew it would have to come out eventually
But I said too much and I see that now.
that feel when you are married and you tell you husband you have a crush on your friend and then you tell your crush that you told your husband that you have a crush on them and you just want to disappear forever now cause everything is ruined.
maria Aug 2020
0 days since my feelings went away.
maria Apr 2020
it's difficult to complain to you about anything
i didn't have to leave my country behind
i don't know what it's like to be hungry
i didn't start in a new country, where i didn't speak the language, all by myself at 14

but i know i also struggle
that my pain is real too
i wish we could share our pain and grow together in it

but i can't talk about it
to most people, never mind you
maybe i'm scared that my problems aren't big enough
or maybe i'm scared that saying them out loud confirms what i already know
that i'm broken
maria Jul 2020
we look at each other like we are just about to kiss.
we look at each other like we see ourselves.
maria Oct 2020
your fingers, my mouth
I press my *** against you
an invitation
Do I write haikus while having *** now? Maybe.
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